It took me a couple of days to realize that I was making up for how miserable and stressed out I was at this time last year. Although I didn't care to admit it at the time, Christmas 2011 was one of the hardest times of my life, and definitely a low point of the deployment. I was over the deployment, and the lack of communication. I was happy for families who were welcoming their soldiers home from shortened deployments to Iraq during the withdrawal, and part of me was excited that main body flights from our brigade were starting to return home to Fort Knox, but I just wanted it to be our turn. The days and weeks leading up to Christmas and watching others' joy surrounding the season just re-enforced the fact that I would be spending yet another holiday without the one person I love the most in the world, and after nearly twelve months apart that really started to wear on me.
But I did "survive" Christmas and the holidays, and welcomed my husband-to-be home a mere eleven days later, and all of that stress and worry was temporarily forgotten. It took me nearly a year into the reintegration and homecoming process for me to realize that a part of who I am was missing last year.
When Christmas started creeping up this year, I couldn't contain my excitement. I had so much Christmas Cheer to make up for! All is how it should be in our world. This year will be the sixth Christmas that we celebrate together, and yet it is only our very first Christmas Tree. I found myself getting so emotional when we were decorating our tree, thinking of all the time we have spent apart in the last couple of years, (and all of the time we will spend apart in the future)- and knowing that no matter what, nothing will every be able to take away this very special memory of our first real Christmas together.
We have been having such a blast this month, doing every Christmas-y activity we can think of and soaking up every moment of this joyous holiday season that we are so blessed to be able to spend together.
