Deployment Positive Monday- Week 2

Oops. 

I guess I am not completely used to being back at blogging again.  I will get better, I promise. 

This week, for the first time ever in my life, I am thankful for travel plans going awry.  I have spent the past couple of days with my amazing in-laws for a little getaway from my normal routine. The trip couldn't have come at a better time, as I could feel myself starting to slip into that inevitable sadness that this deployment is actually a reality for the next X amount of months. That feeling usually hits me about a week into any separation, and then after a couple of days it will pass once I am fully used to this each new phase of our lives. 

Visiting Andrew's family always makes me happy and keeps me busy.  Mom and I built in our tradition for the first deployment of treating ourselves to an afternoon at the Hotel Hershey Spa. How wonderful it was to just let go and relax for a while!

Last night about 3 hours before I was supposed to fly back to Kentucky, I got a call from the airline saying that due to air traffic congestion (really? This just seems like poor planning to me) my flight would be canceled. At first I was irritated because I thought I would be stranded in Charlotte on a layover overnight, but after talking to a not-so-friendly US Airways employee I got it changed to fly out this morning.  I'll be a little late for work, but in the grand scheme of things it was totally worth it. Lillia and Gavin had a sleepover and as I was reading them their bedtime stories I couldn't help but hold them just a little bit tighter than normal. These precious little children, hanging on my every word, trying their hardest to understand why their aunt is home and not their fun-loving uncle, were so worth the stress of yet another flight mishap. I wouldn't have traded that moment for anything. 

As I continue to get accustomed to this deployment, I keep reminding myself to look for the silver linings in everything. That is one thing I will always be thankful to the Army for- at a somewhat young age I feel that I am always able to find the positive in a difficult situation, because in our world that is survival. 

Deployment Positive Monday- Week 1

I've decided that since Thursdays are my late night at work I will give Mondays a try for my weekly positive post. Plus it gives me a great distraction from all the housework I've been avoiding since Andrew left. 

I was really struggling with the idea of getting back into the weekly posts, but looking back on my blog from the first deployment, I can't imagine ever going through a deployment and not having that time in our lives documented. Even now, it is so cool to look back on all of the emotions, activities and events of 2011. When I read those old posts, everything still feels so fresh, and I have a feeling that in the years to come reading my own words will always have that effect on me.  Having a weekly blogging "responsibility"-if you will- also seemed to help the time go by just a little bit faster. 

So here I am, back to my weekly posts. I have been finding myself constantly comparing the two deployments and we aren't even a week into it yet. I don't know if that's normal for people who experience multiple deployments, and I don't know if its some sort of coping mechanism that my subconscious is somehow reminding myself that I've done this before, but its been happening. A lot.  

The biggest comparison I've been noticing is how much has changed in the 17 months since Andrew's return home. The little technology improvements that we don't notice on a day-to-day basis have made a huge difference in our communication already. Last time we didn't video chat until 92 days into the deployment and already we have facetimed twice since Andrew has been overseas. He is still in transit so I know that is likely to change, but it has been so comforting to see his face and hear his voice. We have also been able to TEXT... Not just email but text each other every day, all thanks the the invention of iMessage, which will continue to work for Andrew as long as he has wifi. 

I'm still adjusting to this new phase of our lives, but honestly the transition has been pretty seamless so far. The hardest part is the nighttime because of my active imagination, I'm always convinced that somebody is trying to break into my apartment, but as the days turn into weeks and months, I'm sure I will get used to sleeping alone. Plus, lucky me, my wonderful husband left me with not one but two hand guns on my bedside table and a teddy bear he got me when we were in college that wears an Army T-Shirt, so what else does a girl really need to feel safe?

Here we go again....

Well, I'm back. Andrew's second deployment started yesterday and now I am just trying to adjust to life with him gone. I have decided to return to the blogging world while Andrew is away because I found it to be so therapeutic over the course of the last deployment.

Things are a little bit different for us this time around, so there will be a lot of adjusting in the coming weeks. First (and most importantly), this is the first time we are facing a deployment as a married couple. We all know how much I hated the word "fiance" while we were engaged, but now the fact that I have to say the words "my husband is deployed" makes it sting just a little bit more. Also being a soldier's wife comes with more communication and information from the FRG (Family Readiness Group) at Fort Knox. Because of where we live, it is hard for me to be too involved with the FRG events going on on post, but it is nice to have the option to be a part of that support group.

Speaking of living arrangements, I have made the decision to say in Kentucky for the course of this deployment. I loved having the amazing Dolan support system last time Andrew was gone, and it's going to be so hard to go through this one without being able to share a glass of wine with Mom Dolan on a particularly taxing day, but it just feels like Kentucky is our home now. I have a great job here, which I love and amazing friends to keep me busy and I love returning to our home each night after work... It definitely makes me feel like a part of Andrew is still here with me.

Perhaps the biggest difference with this deployment is the timeline. At this point in his career, Andrew is considered a "Senior Lieutenant" and he will be up for Captain within the next couple of months. We received some amazing news a couple of weeks ago that Andrew has been given the chance to go to Special Forces Assessment and Selection(SFAS, or also simply called "Selection"), a three week course in Fort Bragg, NC. If he gets picked up for selection, we will be moving to Fort Bragg for about 2 years where he will be training for Special Forces in the Q Course. We are excited about the next phase of our lives and his career, and even more excited that because of the spot he is at in his career, he will most likely be returning home from the deployment earlier than we had originally thought! Waiting until after the full deployment to go to Selection could push his timeline back so far that it more than likely would effect his chances of getting picked up for the Q Course.

Yesterday was a tough day, and for the first time I realized that no matter how many deployments we go through, X Day will always be miserable. There are so many emotions and your mind just goes to all the places you really really don't want it to go. We spent about 3 hours waiting around for the busses, and said our "see ya laters" about a million times before it was finally time to go. I tried not to cry while he was still there, but who was I kidding... I was sending my best friend off to war for the second time in 3 years (and to make it hurt just a little bit more- he left exactly 17 months after his last homecoming) but thankfully I held the sobbing in until I was alone in the car.

I was lucky to have good friends spend the night at our place last night to keep me busy and happy. We ordered junk food and drank wine and watched friends, which was EXACTLY what I needed!

So the countdown is officially on. In the meantime, f you have any extra prayers to give be sure to send them our way!

What a Difference a Year Makes

As Thanksgiving came and went this year, I found myself getting more excited than usual for the approaching Christmas Season. I couldn't get our tree and decorations up early enough (even though Andrew did make me wait until AFTER Turkey Day), and everything about the holiday season was making me positively giddy.

It took me a couple of days to realize that I was making up for how miserable and stressed out I was at this time last year. Although I didn't care to admit it at the time, Christmas 2011 was one of the hardest times of my life, and definitely a low point of the deployment. I was over the deployment, and the lack of communication. I was happy for families who were welcoming their soldiers home from shortened deployments to Iraq during the withdrawal, and part of me was excited that main body flights from our brigade were starting to return home to Fort Knox, but I just wanted it to be our turn. The days and weeks leading up to Christmas and watching others' joy surrounding the season just re-enforced the fact that I would be spending yet another holiday without the one person I love the most in the world, and after nearly twelve months apart that really started to wear on me.

But I did "survive" Christmas and the holidays, and welcomed my husband-to-be home a mere eleven days later, and all of that stress and worry was temporarily forgotten. It took me nearly a year into the reintegration and homecoming process for me to realize that a part of who I am was missing last year.

When Christmas started creeping up this year, I couldn't contain my excitement. I had so much Christmas Cheer to make up for! All is how it should be in our world. This year will be the sixth Christmas that we celebrate together, and yet it is only our very first Christmas Tree. I found myself getting so emotional when we were decorating our tree, thinking of all the time we have spent apart in the last couple of years, (and all of the time we will spend apart in the future)- and knowing that no matter what, nothing will every be able to take away this very special memory of our first real Christmas together.

We have been having such a blast this month, doing every Christmas-y activity we can think of and soaking up every moment of this joyous holiday season that we are so blessed to be able to spend together.

The Most Magical Day...

I suppose that it is time for my brief (and unintentional) hiatus from the blogging world to come to and end. To say that life over the last six months has been busy and exciting, would be nothing but an understatement. Two moves, a wedding, and a new job for both Andrew and myself is just the tip of the iceberg.

I've been finding myself really missing the blogging world, and now that Andrew's unit is back into full-swing training, I think it's a good time to reintroduce myself as the newest Mrs. Dolan!

Of course, the biggest milestone of the past six months was August 4th, our wedding day. People constantly ask me if it was the best day of my life, and it's a question that's hard for me to answer. Was it the best party of my life? Yes! The most fun I've ever had? Absolutely! But I will always have a very special place in my heart reserved for a mere six months and twenty eight days prior to our wedding day... Andrew's safe return home from his first deployment. It's impossible for me to chose between the two as my "favorite day", and truthfully I consider myself so blessed to have that problem.

Click here to view our Wedding Video!