Deployment Positive Thursday- Week 44

This week has been absolutely fantastic. I have the best friends and family in the entire world, hands down, but more on that later.

Yesterday marked ten months of deployment gone boy. SCORE!

Today, our unit welcomed home our very first soldiers from Afghanistan! These are the times I wish more than anything that I was living down at Fort Knox, I can't even imagine the joy on those families' faces when their soldiers returned home to them. It was just a small group, but the wave has started, and will continue over the next two and a half to three months.

Our FRG (Family Readiness Group- the wives of the soldiers in the unit) is sending out more emails than ever lately, all with new messages about homecoming and block leave and returning to "normal life" once the brigade returns home. It's oddly comforting to know that there really is a light at the end of this seemingly never-ending tunnel, it's not just me imagining it's there. Sometimes it's easy to get caught up in a moment in time, and I forgot that this deployment will eventually end. It's almost our turn!

Now, onto the most amazing weekend EVER!

On Saturday morning, Mom Dolan and I set off for a Scrapbooking day at Dottie's (her best friend who lives a few towns away) house. I had my huge scrapbooking box with me (decoupaged with newspaper clippings from the Sox 04 World Series Run- one of my favorite home-made projects ever!) and as we walked in the door I was slapped in the face with the sound of "SURPRISE!!!!!" by what seemed like a million women.

I'll admit, the three seconds before I realized what was going on felt like they lasted for-ev-er. I walked into the room, and put my box down, just as I realized "oh, is this all happening for me?" and as I put my sunglasses on my head, I saw them. My girls. My roommates from college, and my best friend since the first grade. Not to mention the countless family (Em, that includes you!)

It's one of the strangest feelings in the world, and I'll never quite be able to describe it, but seeing people I cared so deeply about, here in an environment that I had never seen them before (nor did I ever think I would see them before our wedding) absolutely blew me away. Thank you thank you thank you girls for coming down and making me feel so loved. I am so very very blessed to have you all in my life.

The last time we (my seven roommates and I) were all together was our graduation from Stonehill in May 2009. I was a wreck. We all were. We had just spent the 4 best years of our lives with some of our greatest friends (and senior year with a couple of legitimately crazy boys living down the hall who loved to put fireplaces in our stairwell) and none of us could accept the fact that that chapter in our lives had come to a close. We huddled. There was nothing else to do, we didn't want to let go of that moment.

So what do you think we did the moment we were all 8 together again for the first time in nearly two and a half years (after I got over my initial shock, of course)? Yup! We huddled!

My Bridal Shower was nothing short of phenomenal! I can't describe the joy I felt that day! I really wish I could post a video of my reaction, but I'm having technology issues at the moment, hopefully I'll figure it out someday.

Thank you so very much to everybody who made this day happen! I feel so blessed to be loved by my family, my friends and to be coming into a family who is so loving as well. Saturday was probably one of my favorite deployment days, and I can't help but smile when I think of myself walking into that room and being completely bombarded with love!

Here I am with my Lexa Lou and my rehearsal bouquet! She did an awesome job!

RANGER +1 Year

Today I'm just happy. I got a solid 10 emails in with Andrew this morning after I woke up and before communication got shut off; we seem to be out of the path of Hurricane Irene; I met with and put a deposit down for my florist for our wedding (she is wonderful, and sees everything exactly the way I do- I couldn't be more thrilled about using her and would be more than happy to recommend her to any brides who are still looking); and, a year ago today was the happiest moment of my life (to that point).

It's amazing how much can change in a year. I was Andrew's girlfriend, I had just been through the longest summer of my life (or so I thought) hanging on every letter, dashing to the mailbox as soon as I got home from work (twice on days that I stopped home for lunch), and never knowing exactly what was going on in Andrew's world. On this date, 365 days ago, I had the honor to pin that Ranger Tab on my soldier's shoulder. I don't know that I've ever had a prouder moment. He had worked so hard for that tab, and every lonely night and re-read letter was completely, totally, 150 million percent worth it to see that smile on his face when I told him "you did it babe, no matter what, nobody can ever take this away from you, Congratulations, Ranger!"

And now, here we are. A full year later. I am no longer Andrew's girlfriend... I'm his fiancee and planning our wedding while he is deployed. It's days like today that make me so happy... remembering the joy we felt last year, not only at the graduation ceremony, but also two days before when I surprised him on his 8 hour pass. Literally the moment I saw him I screamed and nothing else mattered. That goofy grin on his face, shaking his head as we pushed through the sea of dirty camo and reunions all around us trying to get to one another; that moment made every tear and every worry I had had that summer disappear. Being apart didn't matter- we were together for that moment.

When people say to me "I don't know how you do it" or "well, I could never do that", I actually feel sorry for them. They don't feel the love I feel, they don't get to prove to their significant other every day how much they care. The military tests relationships, the strong survive and the weak falter, and we are lucky enough to not only have survived the tests the military as thrown our way, but we have grown from them. 

I love our life, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love that my future-husband stands up and fights for what he believes in, and will do anything possible to attain his goals, even when the road is not easy. The separations and voids I feel from him being gone are filled by the happy faces and giggles of six beautiful little children that will tell you all the pride they can possibly muster: "my uncle is a RANGER! He's fighting in Afghanistan so that we can be safe!"

Well this post got long and mushy in a hurry. Definitely not my intention, but you get what you get, I guess. I suppose all I'm really trying to say is that I can't believe a year has gone by, and I am so excited for this time next year when I will officially be Mrs. Ranger.

May the Seventeenth

I have never been one to believe in signs or messages from beyond, but ever since meeting Andrew there have been a few things that have stood out to us that make us sure that if there are such a thing as signs, they're pointing to us being us forever. One of these impossible to ignore signs is this very date: May 17th. This day has been one of the most important days of each year since we have known each other.

Let's take a stroll down memory lane, shall we?

2008:
After studying abroad in Italy for four months, I returned home to the arms of Andrew, who surprised me by picking me up with a beautiful bouquet of flowers at Logan Airport in Boston. My time in Italy was a big test for our relationship, we had only met three months before I left so I was gone for longer than I had known him. I remember my first days in Florence, I couldn't stop talking to people about him (it just kept coming up, like word vomit- name that movie!) everyone was shocked when they found out our relationship was so new. We knew if this was ever going to work for us, long-distance would be something we would have to get used to and Italy was a great test run for that. Plus, looking back, it was a good experience for me to be the one away from home and him to be the one waiting for me. Every single separation we've had since then has been the other way around, so I think it is good we each know what it is like to be in the others' shoes. (er, well, if you take away the war aspect of the equation, I  suppose)

Coming back home and running into Andrew's arms and the fact that the second we got into his truck it was like we had never been apart told me that this was for keeps. I already knew that, but it just validated everything I had been thinking for the past few months.

2009:
Goodbye, College! We graduated from Stonehill in 2009. Emotionally, I had a harder time with no longer living with seven of my best friends than anything else, but it was an adjustment time for both of us. I was such a wreck on graduation day, I didn't even want to take pictures with my family or Andrew for some reason. My parents will get a kick out of this, but: YES I REGRET IT! It was just such an emotionally draining day, but spending time with our families together after the hooplah was all done was a great way to relax.

The night before graduations was hands-down one of the best nights of college. All of the graduation seniors went up to Donahue Hill, which is basically the only hill with a mansion on it on campus, and hung out up there all night. Somebody brought a keg, somebody else brought DJ equipment, it was such a fun time. It started raining at one point and nobody cared, we were all soaked and stayed out til 4 or 5 in the morning when we had to be up at 7:30 for graduation.

wee morning hours- 17 May 2009

2010:
Ranger School Day 1. Something Andrew has been looking forward to for years on end. When I found out last January that Andrew had orders to start "the bad place" on that day, I couldn't believe it. Three years in a row, three huge life events! And arguably the three biggest events in our relationship up to that point (save when we actually met, the first time I kicked his butt at Mario Kart, etc...) it's pretty incredible if you really think about it. Ranger School was another test for us. It gave me a chance to prove that I wasn't going anywhere, even when facing weeks with no communication other than letters, and I think it had a lot to do with us getting engaged when we did.

17 May 2010

A few months ago we also found one more goose-bump inspiring connection to May 17th. Andrew was going to get my engagement ring appraised and insured and took out the certificate of authenticity and my diamond was certified on May 17, 2010. Andrew had no idea when he bought it.

I don't know, maybe we are just looking for reasons to love May 17th and it's all some weird, funky coincidence, but I find that hard to believe. Last year at this time, Mom, Shannon and I were thinking maybe May 17, 2014 (a Saturday) would be our wedding date (that's when I was still convinced Andrew would make me wait til after his first deployment to get engaged).

Today as I drove to work, I was expecting to feel uplifted and happy that we reached another May 17th and that we are 4 months and 1 day into this deployment. Instead I was a little bit let down to not have something really exciting to look forward to today. I think Andrew's unit is on a communication blackout because I haven't heard from him since Sunday night, so when all is said and done, I will count it as a huge victory to get one little email tonight with three little words from a solider who I love very much in a far away place.

Pinning My Ranger

Of all the days I have lived, I think yesterday might have been my absolute favorite day EVER! Jen and I woke up at the crack of dawn (okay, that's a lie, but it felt early since I couldn't sleep the night before due to shear excitement!) We left the apartment by 8 to drive over to Camp Rogers one last time and guarantee that we had a good parking spot. There was lots of traffic, but by the time we were parked and in line it was probably 8:45. We waited for a little while and then I got a call from Andrew's mom.

Standing in line and waiting
to take our seats at Graduation.
Victory Pond in the background

They were lost and couldn't find Victory Pond! I was freaking out and so nervous that they wouldn't be able to get there in time. And if they were late how in the world was I supposed to save seats for SIXTEEN PEOPLE?! I had no idea where they were or how to tell them to get to where we were, and Shannon's GPS wasn't working (which I should have told them would happen before we left). I was getting so nervous.
Twenty minutes later, they still weren't there yet and the line we were in was slowly making its way down the hill and into the bleachers for the graduation. Jen and I got great seats and tried to save as many as possible, but only managed saving 2 for Andrew's parents which was really the only thing that mattered to me at that point. 

About ten minutes before the ceremony started, the whole family arrived! It ended up working out perfectly because Mr. & Mrs. Dolan sat with us, Sean and his family sat together, Shannon, Victor, Lillia and Gavin sat together and my parents offered to sit with Jared and Alisia. Andrew's mom kept saying "Oh I hope they behave for your parents, I feel so bad" but honestly, they LOVED spending the time with the kids! Actually Jared reminds me a lot of my dad, so intellectual and bright. I would have loved to have heard what they were talking about! And to experience the graduation with Jared (especially) must have really been a treat for my parents. He is the oldest of the nieces and nephews and at 8 1/2 he can really grasp everything his uncle went through this summer. He must have loved every second of it.

The ceremony was without a doubt the COOLEST Military Graduation I have ever or will ever see. The first 45 minutes was called Rangers in Action -- a demonstration of everything the guys had done while at Ranger School. Totally blew my mind. Here is a sample of some of the cool things my boyfriend did:

Then we had a small break and they told family and friends to make their way down to the Rangers (now lined up in formation) to pin their tabs on. This was the moment I WE had been waiting for. The past 103 (and a half- if you ask Andrew) days flashed before my eyes and disappeared at the same time. It was one of those moments in life that just don't seem real, no matter how much you pinch yourself. Jen and I stayed together (and Andrew and Zack agreed to stay together in the front of formation) so that we could find the guys easily. Andrew's parents came down with our cameras and took pictures of the pinning process. 

As Andrew handed me the tab and safety pin, he said "okay, so I'd rather have you stab me than stab your toe-thumb" (a long running joke with us- my left thumb is heinously ugly, fat, short and wide. I don't get it cause the other one is normal, but according to Andrew, it's a toe thumb) "so be careful babe".

I didn't care about stabbing or being stabbed.  It didn't matter (even though, I will admit that I was pretty nervous at that point- for whatever reason). The only thing that mattered was that this moment was real and it was happening now! 

As I concentrated on getting that safety pin through all those layers of fabric and velcro (harder than you may think) the only thing I could think to say to him was:

 "No matter what babe, nobody can ever take this away from you. You've earned it! Congratulations Ranger"

27 Aug 2010
2LT Andrew Dolan becomes Ranger Qualified