Deployment Positive Monday- Week 3

Well I obviously don't have my life as organized as I did at this point during Andrew's first deployment. I don't know why I am having such a hard time getting to my blog on Mondays. I really am going to try from now-on though. 

Honestly, today's post isn't going to be as positive as I was hoping it would be. I am pretty sure that my heart is still recovering from the drama of last night's hockey game. I keep replaying the final minute and a half over and over again in my head, and still can't quite believe it. Honestly the whole thing struck a little too close to home for my taste, as memories of the 2003 ALCS came flooding back to me. It's amazing how almost ten years and two World Series rings later that wound still feels almost as fresh as the night it happened. 

Wait til next year, as we say in Boston. 

In some actual positive, deployment-related news, things for Andrew are going well. We are able to text every day and FaceTime a couple of times a week. I think at not even three weeks into this deployment, we have already facetimed more than we did during the entire 12 months that Andrew was away for the first deployment. That makes me a very happy girl! Basically anytime I can see my amazing husband's handsome face or hear his voice, my day is infinitely better!

Three weeks has proven to be a rather curious benchmark for me. I feel both as though time has flown by and dragged on. Three weeks is a good chunk of time, but then I think about the fact that we aren't even a month into it and that. And that thought makes me feel like time is absolutely standing still. I think part of my problem is that we really don't know how long this deployment is going to be. Countdowns are completely out the window at this point, because deep down I know I'm either being way too optimistic for intentionally setting the homecoming date absurdly far in the future. 

The good news is that I work in the bridal industry and everybody talks about the months ahead and how excited they are for the future to come. We tend to work on six to nine month time frames so its perfect for me... Regardless of how long this deployment ends up being.   

Deployment Positive Monday- Week 2

Oops. 

I guess I am not completely used to being back at blogging again.  I will get better, I promise. 

This week, for the first time ever in my life, I am thankful for travel plans going awry.  I have spent the past couple of days with my amazing in-laws for a little getaway from my normal routine. The trip couldn't have come at a better time, as I could feel myself starting to slip into that inevitable sadness that this deployment is actually a reality for the next X amount of months. That feeling usually hits me about a week into any separation, and then after a couple of days it will pass once I am fully used to this each new phase of our lives. 

Visiting Andrew's family always makes me happy and keeps me busy.  Mom and I built in our tradition for the first deployment of treating ourselves to an afternoon at the Hotel Hershey Spa. How wonderful it was to just let go and relax for a while!

Last night about 3 hours before I was supposed to fly back to Kentucky, I got a call from the airline saying that due to air traffic congestion (really? This just seems like poor planning to me) my flight would be canceled. At first I was irritated because I thought I would be stranded in Charlotte on a layover overnight, but after talking to a not-so-friendly US Airways employee I got it changed to fly out this morning.  I'll be a little late for work, but in the grand scheme of things it was totally worth it. Lillia and Gavin had a sleepover and as I was reading them their bedtime stories I couldn't help but hold them just a little bit tighter than normal. These precious little children, hanging on my every word, trying their hardest to understand why their aunt is home and not their fun-loving uncle, were so worth the stress of yet another flight mishap. I wouldn't have traded that moment for anything. 

As I continue to get accustomed to this deployment, I keep reminding myself to look for the silver linings in everything. That is one thing I will always be thankful to the Army for- at a somewhat young age I feel that I am always able to find the positive in a difficult situation, because in our world that is survival. 

Deployment Positive Monday- Week 1

I've decided that since Thursdays are my late night at work I will give Mondays a try for my weekly positive post. Plus it gives me a great distraction from all the housework I've been avoiding since Andrew left. 

I was really struggling with the idea of getting back into the weekly posts, but looking back on my blog from the first deployment, I can't imagine ever going through a deployment and not having that time in our lives documented. Even now, it is so cool to look back on all of the emotions, activities and events of 2011. When I read those old posts, everything still feels so fresh, and I have a feeling that in the years to come reading my own words will always have that effect on me.  Having a weekly blogging "responsibility"-if you will- also seemed to help the time go by just a little bit faster. 

So here I am, back to my weekly posts. I have been finding myself constantly comparing the two deployments and we aren't even a week into it yet. I don't know if that's normal for people who experience multiple deployments, and I don't know if its some sort of coping mechanism that my subconscious is somehow reminding myself that I've done this before, but its been happening. A lot.  

The biggest comparison I've been noticing is how much has changed in the 17 months since Andrew's return home. The little technology improvements that we don't notice on a day-to-day basis have made a huge difference in our communication already. Last time we didn't video chat until 92 days into the deployment and already we have facetimed twice since Andrew has been overseas. He is still in transit so I know that is likely to change, but it has been so comforting to see his face and hear his voice. We have also been able to TEXT... Not just email but text each other every day, all thanks the the invention of iMessage, which will continue to work for Andrew as long as he has wifi. 

I'm still adjusting to this new phase of our lives, but honestly the transition has been pretty seamless so far. The hardest part is the nighttime because of my active imagination, I'm always convinced that somebody is trying to break into my apartment, but as the days turn into weeks and months, I'm sure I will get used to sleeping alone. Plus, lucky me, my wonderful husband left me with not one but two hand guns on my bedside table and a teddy bear he got me when we were in college that wears an Army T-Shirt, so what else does a girl really need to feel safe?

Here we go again....

Well, I'm back. Andrew's second deployment started yesterday and now I am just trying to adjust to life with him gone. I have decided to return to the blogging world while Andrew is away because I found it to be so therapeutic over the course of the last deployment.

Things are a little bit different for us this time around, so there will be a lot of adjusting in the coming weeks. First (and most importantly), this is the first time we are facing a deployment as a married couple. We all know how much I hated the word "fiance" while we were engaged, but now the fact that I have to say the words "my husband is deployed" makes it sting just a little bit more. Also being a soldier's wife comes with more communication and information from the FRG (Family Readiness Group) at Fort Knox. Because of where we live, it is hard for me to be too involved with the FRG events going on on post, but it is nice to have the option to be a part of that support group.

Speaking of living arrangements, I have made the decision to say in Kentucky for the course of this deployment. I loved having the amazing Dolan support system last time Andrew was gone, and it's going to be so hard to go through this one without being able to share a glass of wine with Mom Dolan on a particularly taxing day, but it just feels like Kentucky is our home now. I have a great job here, which I love and amazing friends to keep me busy and I love returning to our home each night after work... It definitely makes me feel like a part of Andrew is still here with me.

Perhaps the biggest difference with this deployment is the timeline. At this point in his career, Andrew is considered a "Senior Lieutenant" and he will be up for Captain within the next couple of months. We received some amazing news a couple of weeks ago that Andrew has been given the chance to go to Special Forces Assessment and Selection(SFAS, or also simply called "Selection"), a three week course in Fort Bragg, NC. If he gets picked up for selection, we will be moving to Fort Bragg for about 2 years where he will be training for Special Forces in the Q Course. We are excited about the next phase of our lives and his career, and even more excited that because of the spot he is at in his career, he will most likely be returning home from the deployment earlier than we had originally thought! Waiting until after the full deployment to go to Selection could push his timeline back so far that it more than likely would effect his chances of getting picked up for the Q Course.

Yesterday was a tough day, and for the first time I realized that no matter how many deployments we go through, X Day will always be miserable. There are so many emotions and your mind just goes to all the places you really really don't want it to go. We spent about 3 hours waiting around for the busses, and said our "see ya laters" about a million times before it was finally time to go. I tried not to cry while he was still there, but who was I kidding... I was sending my best friend off to war for the second time in 3 years (and to make it hurt just a little bit more- he left exactly 17 months after his last homecoming) but thankfully I held the sobbing in until I was alone in the car.

I was lucky to have good friends spend the night at our place last night to keep me busy and happy. We ordered junk food and drank wine and watched friends, which was EXACTLY what I needed!

So the countdown is officially on. In the meantime, f you have any extra prayers to give be sure to send them our way!