Deployment Positive Monday- Weeks 12 and 13

Life. Is. Busy.

And absolutely awesome, to be quite honest with you! I don't even know where to start with this post because so much has been going on in the last two weeks. I guess the first thing I should touch on is the fact that I just got back from four magical days in Disney World! A friend and I decided to drive down and had a great time at all the parks, and we even saw SeaWorld and Universal Studios for my first time as well!

I met Mickey Mouse and lots of other characters at The Magic Kingdom, went on a safari at Animal Kingdom, had drinks from around the world at Epcot, spent some time petting and playing with real-life penguins at SeaWorld, and-oh yeah- went to Hogwarts!!!

It has been a crazy week since I've been home from Florida as well. It's hard to believe that we are approaching the 90-day-13-week-3-month-mark, but boy does it feel good to have such a substantial portion of this deployment behind us. 

We are also approaching my absolute favorite time of year. Growing up in a small New England town, having a love for the fall is almost a given. Autumn in Kentucky can't really hold a candle to the crisp feelings of Septembers in New Hampshire, but it's not as much about the weather as it is about baseball AND football season finally converging and being played at the same time! Words cannot describe how excited I was to watch the Red Sox [stomp on the Tigers] in high definition on ESPN, while I drafted my fantasy football team. Plus, it doesn't hurt that my birthday is less than a week away... I'm just kinda a happy girl these days. 

... And whenever that handsome soldier of mine decides it is time to come home and join in on all the fall time fun, I'm more than ready to welcome him with open arms (and probably a patriots tshirt). 

Deployment Positive Monday- Week 9

Well for a girl who just spent her first wedding anniversary with her husband fighting a war halfway around the world, I must say, I am in an excellent mood! I had absolutely, hands-down the best weekend possible, given the circumstances. 

Andrew and I have known that we would spend our first anniversary apart since we set the date for our wedding, so there was never really a part of me that spent my time dreaming about a super romantic weekend reminiscing in the awesomeness of our wedding and our marriage (does anyone actually do that?) but that didn't make it any easier to spend such a big milestone without him. What did make it a whole lot easier (and fun) was the fact that my college roommate/maid of honor/best friend came down to spend the weekend with me here in Louisville. I still can't believe how lucky I am that she flew all the way down here just to make sure I wasn't lonely this weekend. That is truly the definition of an amazing friend.

I won't bore you with all of the details of the weekend, but in short: I got my breakfast comp'd at Wild Eggs because she told the waitress the situation, we went downtown for dinner and saw 7483728 bachelorette parties and the Louisville Slugger Factory, drank bottles and bottles of wine and stayed up way too late chatting and laughing, drove 35 minutes to the coolest dunkin donuts, got our nails done, laid out at the pool, made an epic wedding video, facetimed my amazing husband TWICE, and went to Buffalo Wild Wings for my anniversary dinner for junk food, beers, bug buck hunter and watched (preseason) football. Basically everything was perfect. 

I think my favorite part of the weekend was looking back through the hours of video footage that she had captured from our wedding. Watching it made it feel like it was just yesterday, and I love all the little candid moments she caught that the professionals simply couldn't. If you have ten minutes to spare, I highly recommend watching the following link, Amy did an amazing job and really somehow managed to show the essence of our relationship... Just goofy, head over heels love 

http://youtu.be/KwCqd1eAzNU

Deployment Positive Monday- Weeks 7 and 8

Yep, well now I've just skipped an entire week. I've been petty disappointed in myself for my lack of blogging this deployment, but for some reason, I just can't get myself to keep at it. I really don't understand it because I can't even put a price on how much my book of the first deployment's blog posts means to me, I wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. It kills me to think that I just won't have the same experience with this deployment. 

Maybe it's because I have been approaching this deployment with a completely different mindset. Part of it still doesn't seam real to me for some reason.  Obviously I know Andrew is away and at war, but everything from our communication to my living situation to his job is different. There hasn't been a single day since Andrew left 53 days ago that we haven't had some sort of communication (hopefully I'm not jinxing it by posting about it). I am working a job that I absolutely love and coming home each night to a home that a share with my husband (and the hardest part of this is that I still haven't adjusted to the idea of cooking for 1- I made about 4 times too many servings of dinner tonight... Hello leftovers!). Andrews job is allowing for us to communicate more, and giving him a lot more down time. Lately one of our favorite activities has been to do the same crossfit workout (same workout for both of us, but he completes it with more weight) and compare times. I kinda love it and can't wait to have him home to workout side by side again! Another favorite pastime has been planning for homecoming and all the things we want to do and trips we want to take before we are onto our next duty station. It's a little weird to think that chances are we won't be living in Kentucky at this time next year, but exciting weird. We'll be on to bigger and better things and we are both so excited to move and explore a new duty station together for the first time. Depending on where we are sent maybe we will even become first time homeowners! The future is an exciting time for us Dolans!

But, not to get ahead of myself too much, I'm still doing my best to keep busy and travel as much as possible while Andrew is gone. Last week I had a great trip to the Jersey Shore with my amazing inlaws then had a friend visit from Nashville over the weekend. It was great to have a girls night and we even went to a wine and paint bar and painted ourselves some "funky trees". It was a blast! 

That soldier husband of mine has been keeping busy too. He has been getting care packages in an average of under two weeks which is great and even received his anniversary care package this morning. It's still pretty hard to believe that this time last year we were in last minute wedding mode finalizing each and every detail. Hopefully this time next year we will be curled up on the couch together watching American Ninja Warrior and loving life in a brand new state. I can't think of anything better than spending our second anniversary together. 

Andrew has been getting lots of time in with his SFAAT team and his Battalion Commander even posted this picture of them on Facebook earlier this week. Can you spot my handsome soldier? 

Deployment Positive Monday- Week 5

Just to preface this: in all honesty, I planned to delay this week's post.

There are some days at work that are just so rewarding, and today happened to be one of them. There is a nationwide charity called Brides Across America, which donates weddings gowns to military brides at events twice a year. I am proud to say that my wedding boutique is one of the participating partners for this event and today was our Fourth of July Giveaway!

We had about 15-20 women register for the event and each one is engaged to a man in the military who is either currently deployed or has had a recent deployment. Actually, one was even in the military herself, which I thought was pretty cool. It was such a special day for me to help to give back to those in my own community! We gave away one dress to every bride who came today (they got to try on a couple of different ones to have the bridal experience and could choose their favorite) and most for veils and bridesmaid dresses as well. To see these women be so thankful and overjoyed was really an overwhelming feeling for me. 

I know first hand how difficult it is to plan a wedding during a deployment. There is so much weight behind every single decision you make. Every penny you spend, you question. Every contract you sign, you prepare for the worst. The anxiety level is high to say the least. So I can't imagine how what it meant to these ladies today to not have to stress abut the expense of a wedding gown. I'm proud of the management at my boutique for being a part of this amazing organization long before they ever had a military wife as an employee. I truly work for and with such kind-hearted people. I left work today feeling so fulfilled and happy!

In deployment news, Andrew is doing well and trying to keep busy working out once or twice a day during the downtime in between missions outside the wire. I realized a couple of days ago that if I am going to make our first wedding anniversary special for that boy I need to get a care package together and out to him soon. To me it still feels like August is so far away, but its only a couple of weeks from now! It is crazy how quickly the summer flies by, even when he it gone. I guess I'm just a lucky girl to be so busy!

Deployment Positive Monday- Week 4

Woohoo! I finally got to my blog on a Monday! Huge step for me, apparently. 

This week I am so so thankful for amazing friends and family who keep me busy and occupied while Andrew is away. I love looking ahead to the coming months and seeing every single weekend for the next two months occupied with visitors or trips! Honestly, nothing could be more exciting to me!

It all started this weekend with my moms visit to town. We had a great time shopping and catching up! Oh... And I died my hair. It's dark. Like, really really brunette. I'm still not quite used to it yet, but Andrew seems to like the pictures he's seen of it. It's funny because less than a month after Andrew left for his first deployment I cut off about 8-10 inches of my hair. It was a huge change for me at the time, as I had had the same hair style for years before that. Now, a couple of weeks into this deployment I have another big hair change. Maybe it's just my way of coping with a big void in my life. 

It's not only the weekends I have to look forward to. Today after work a friend and I decided to hit the mall for dinner and shopping... Literally until we dropped. It's so nice to not have to rush home after work to an empty house every day. AND when I got home the little neighbor girls came knocking on my door and offered me fresh baked cupcakes--- funfetti with bright Barbie pink icing and sprinkles. Seriously a great end to my day and perfect beginning to the week and month that we celebrate our great nation's independence. Not too shabby at all. 

Deployment Positive Monday- Week 2

Oops. 

I guess I am not completely used to being back at blogging again.  I will get better, I promise. 

This week, for the first time ever in my life, I am thankful for travel plans going awry.  I have spent the past couple of days with my amazing in-laws for a little getaway from my normal routine. The trip couldn't have come at a better time, as I could feel myself starting to slip into that inevitable sadness that this deployment is actually a reality for the next X amount of months. That feeling usually hits me about a week into any separation, and then after a couple of days it will pass once I am fully used to this each new phase of our lives. 

Visiting Andrew's family always makes me happy and keeps me busy.  Mom and I built in our tradition for the first deployment of treating ourselves to an afternoon at the Hotel Hershey Spa. How wonderful it was to just let go and relax for a while!

Last night about 3 hours before I was supposed to fly back to Kentucky, I got a call from the airline saying that due to air traffic congestion (really? This just seems like poor planning to me) my flight would be canceled. At first I was irritated because I thought I would be stranded in Charlotte on a layover overnight, but after talking to a not-so-friendly US Airways employee I got it changed to fly out this morning.  I'll be a little late for work, but in the grand scheme of things it was totally worth it. Lillia and Gavin had a sleepover and as I was reading them their bedtime stories I couldn't help but hold them just a little bit tighter than normal. These precious little children, hanging on my every word, trying their hardest to understand why their aunt is home and not their fun-loving uncle, were so worth the stress of yet another flight mishap. I wouldn't have traded that moment for anything. 

As I continue to get accustomed to this deployment, I keep reminding myself to look for the silver linings in everything. That is one thing I will always be thankful to the Army for- at a somewhat young age I feel that I am always able to find the positive in a difficult situation, because in our world that is survival. 

Deployment Positive Monday- Week 1

I've decided that since Thursdays are my late night at work I will give Mondays a try for my weekly positive post. Plus it gives me a great distraction from all the housework I've been avoiding since Andrew left. 

I was really struggling with the idea of getting back into the weekly posts, but looking back on my blog from the first deployment, I can't imagine ever going through a deployment and not having that time in our lives documented. Even now, it is so cool to look back on all of the emotions, activities and events of 2011. When I read those old posts, everything still feels so fresh, and I have a feeling that in the years to come reading my own words will always have that effect on me.  Having a weekly blogging "responsibility"-if you will- also seemed to help the time go by just a little bit faster. 

So here I am, back to my weekly posts. I have been finding myself constantly comparing the two deployments and we aren't even a week into it yet. I don't know if that's normal for people who experience multiple deployments, and I don't know if its some sort of coping mechanism that my subconscious is somehow reminding myself that I've done this before, but its been happening. A lot.  

The biggest comparison I've been noticing is how much has changed in the 17 months since Andrew's return home. The little technology improvements that we don't notice on a day-to-day basis have made a huge difference in our communication already. Last time we didn't video chat until 92 days into the deployment and already we have facetimed twice since Andrew has been overseas. He is still in transit so I know that is likely to change, but it has been so comforting to see his face and hear his voice. We have also been able to TEXT... Not just email but text each other every day, all thanks the the invention of iMessage, which will continue to work for Andrew as long as he has wifi. 

I'm still adjusting to this new phase of our lives, but honestly the transition has been pretty seamless so far. The hardest part is the nighttime because of my active imagination, I'm always convinced that somebody is trying to break into my apartment, but as the days turn into weeks and months, I'm sure I will get used to sleeping alone. Plus, lucky me, my wonderful husband left me with not one but two hand guns on my bedside table and a teddy bear he got me when we were in college that wears an Army T-Shirt, so what else does a girl really need to feel safe?

Here we go again....

Well, I'm back. Andrew's second deployment started yesterday and now I am just trying to adjust to life with him gone. I have decided to return to the blogging world while Andrew is away because I found it to be so therapeutic over the course of the last deployment.

Things are a little bit different for us this time around, so there will be a lot of adjusting in the coming weeks. First (and most importantly), this is the first time we are facing a deployment as a married couple. We all know how much I hated the word "fiance" while we were engaged, but now the fact that I have to say the words "my husband is deployed" makes it sting just a little bit more. Also being a soldier's wife comes with more communication and information from the FRG (Family Readiness Group) at Fort Knox. Because of where we live, it is hard for me to be too involved with the FRG events going on on post, but it is nice to have the option to be a part of that support group.

Speaking of living arrangements, I have made the decision to say in Kentucky for the course of this deployment. I loved having the amazing Dolan support system last time Andrew was gone, and it's going to be so hard to go through this one without being able to share a glass of wine with Mom Dolan on a particularly taxing day, but it just feels like Kentucky is our home now. I have a great job here, which I love and amazing friends to keep me busy and I love returning to our home each night after work... It definitely makes me feel like a part of Andrew is still here with me.

Perhaps the biggest difference with this deployment is the timeline. At this point in his career, Andrew is considered a "Senior Lieutenant" and he will be up for Captain within the next couple of months. We received some amazing news a couple of weeks ago that Andrew has been given the chance to go to Special Forces Assessment and Selection(SFAS, or also simply called "Selection"), a three week course in Fort Bragg, NC. If he gets picked up for selection, we will be moving to Fort Bragg for about 2 years where he will be training for Special Forces in the Q Course. We are excited about the next phase of our lives and his career, and even more excited that because of the spot he is at in his career, he will most likely be returning home from the deployment earlier than we had originally thought! Waiting until after the full deployment to go to Selection could push his timeline back so far that it more than likely would effect his chances of getting picked up for the Q Course.

Yesterday was a tough day, and for the first time I realized that no matter how many deployments we go through, X Day will always be miserable. There are so many emotions and your mind just goes to all the places you really really don't want it to go. We spent about 3 hours waiting around for the busses, and said our "see ya laters" about a million times before it was finally time to go. I tried not to cry while he was still there, but who was I kidding... I was sending my best friend off to war for the second time in 3 years (and to make it hurt just a little bit more- he left exactly 17 months after his last homecoming) but thankfully I held the sobbing in until I was alone in the car.

I was lucky to have good friends spend the night at our place last night to keep me busy and happy. We ordered junk food and drank wine and watched friends, which was EXACTLY what I needed!

So the countdown is officially on. In the meantime, f you have any extra prayers to give be sure to send them our way!

Reunited and it Feels so Good

As our first Post-Deployment Block Leave comes to an end, I wanted to take a look at a list I made early in the deployment regarding all the things we were missing and wanted to do when Andrew returned home. My original list is below in black, and my 2012 updates are in red next to them. Without trying to (infact, I had almost forgotten that I made this list), we nearly accomplished everything on this list.

1. Get every single hug and kiss in that we can- currently enjoying this
2. Go to Dinner and a movie- done and done
3. Text and call whenever we want to without being charged an arm and a leg- loving this
4. Have SUSHI and experiment with all new kinds of fish- Three sushi dates under our belts in the first month- great success
5. Catch up on How I Met Your Mother and Entourage
6. Fall in love with new shows together- ummmm... every heard of The League? and Jimmy Fallon. Actually this is fun because we are introducing each other to new shows!
7. Go to McDonalds and get 50% off when he wears his uniform- In all honestly, I just can't see us doing this
8. Have a lazy day watching movies in our PJs- if lazy = slightly hungover :)
9. Wake up to the smell of his home-made Chocolate Chip Pancakes- I'll never get enough of this
10. Have a wedding food-tasting day to decide what will be served at the wedding! - TOMORROW!
11. LOTS of Country Concerts!
12. Take a picture of Andrew with his cardboard cut out clone- We actually did this over leave, and it was creepy, but awesome
13. Trips to Boston
14. ... and eating at Fire & Ice- (still planning these two)
15. Watching Andrew catch up on all that missed time with his nieces and nephews- one of my favorite things to do! "Uncle AJ! Watch this!" "No, Uncle AJ, look at me!" Ah they can't get enough of him!
16. Pick out wedding bands (jewelry, not musicians)- soon
17. Long rides in the truck with nowhere in particular to go, just talking and singing along to country music- still remains one of my favorite passtimes
18. Motorcycle rides on winding back country roads in the springtime- springtime, dead of winter... same thing, right?
19. Getting the motorcycle out of the apartment.... - GIANT check mark in that box!
20. Celebrate every 2012 holiday together- not sure I remembered that Andrew is in the ARMY when I wrote this...
21. Finally become a family on August 4, 2012- love
22. Road trips to explore new cities
23. Maybe go to Indianapolis for the Super Bowl- I thank the Good Lord that we did not do this. I don't think my heart could have survived such dispair.
24. Dinners at Chili's started off with Kickin' Jack Nachos- "Chachi's"
25. Red Sox games

2011 Right in Front of my Very Eyes!

Ever wonder what a whole year of your life looks like in text and pictures?

So did I.

Then I found http://www.blog2print.com/ and now I know!

This website was one of the easiest tools I've ever used on the internet. All I had to do was enter in my URL and pick a front and back cover photo and BOOM! I was done.

127 pages of every thought and picture that I blogged about over the past year-- and I can thumb through it anytime I want! It's pretty cool to look back through everything that had happened while Andrew was off fighting for our country's freedom, but what I'm really excited for is to look back on this in years to come. We have a hard, documented copy of our first deployment, and I can't wait to share it with our children and grandchildren in the (very very distant) future.

How cool would it be to spy on a year of your grandparents' life? I think it would be pretty darn exciting.



Day 355. . . Utter Relief

Okay, okay... I think I've taken a long enough hiatus from blogging. Believe me though, you would have done the exact. same. thing. if you were in my shoes.

So far, 2012 has been nothing short of magical. Part of me still doesn't believe that this is all real; that everything I have been hoping and praying for for so long is finally here. But guess what? IT IS! And I couldn't be happier!

As our first deployment began to wind down, I noticed myself getting more and more impatient with everything that had just become "normal life" for the past year. I was over it, 8 Main Body flights with thousands of soldiers had already come home to Fort Knox, and I was ready for it to be our turn.

On Tuesday, January 3, 2012 I started the 599.6 mile journey to Louisville. It was a long drive, but totally worth it when I got to our apartment and had days to get everything cleaned and ready for my soldier's return.

On Wednesday Morning, I got my 72 hour notice call, letting me know that Andrew's flight was scheduled and that the homecoming ceremony for Main Body 9 would be on Friday Evening! I wanted so badly to shout it from the rooftops, announce it on every social media outlet on earth, and text everyone I knew. It was so hard to follow OPSEC and keep this information mainly to myself, but I did it, not only to keep the soldiers safe, but also to ensure that and OPSEC violation wouldn't further delay the flight.

The next few days were long, as I watched more friends return home to their loved ones, and finally Andrew's family arrived in Louisville on Friday afternoon. We had pizza at the apartment, and waited for what seemed like an eternity for my 4 hour notice call. When I got it at 6:58 pm I finally let myself get excited. This call meant that Andrew's flight had landed safely at the Louisville Airport. He was within 15 miles of me, and we just had to get through the next couple of hours (and outprocessing paperwork on his end) and a drive down to Fort Knox (about 40 minutes) before we were done with our first deployment.

I finished getting ready, got in the car with the rest of the family and we were on our way! I wish I could put every thought and feeling I had into words, but the truth of the matter is that the next couple of hours are nothing but a haze to me. I expected myself to be a complete emotional wreck (similar to the way I was when he returned home in October for R&R) but in all honesty, I was numb. Like I wouldn't let myself believe that the moment I had been waiting for so long for was finally here. And when I did see Andrew, I felt nothing but shear relief. No more waking in the middle of the night to a weird cell phone noise and not being able to get back to sleep, no more heart stopping every time the door bell rings (although, I think a part of my mind will always go 'there' when we have an unexpected visitor). My prayers had been answered and my soldier was home.

I know from experience, that the best part about other couples' homecomings are the pictures.... so here are some of our favorites

All of us waiting for HOURS!

Finally, they started lifting the curtain, and we could see boots.

My best guess is that it took about 7-10 minutes to fully raise the curtain. This was one of the longest waits of my life.

On 6 January at 2300 hours, 271 soldiers returned home to family and friends.

Searching the see of identical-looking men for mine!

FINALLY!

So what is next for us? Just enjoying life for once. Andrew is participating in his "reintegration training" daily at Fort Knox and I am returning to life as normal back in Pennsylvania. I have some responsibilities to finish at work before joining him in Kentucky this Spring.

As for the blog... don't worry, it's not going away! DPT's, however, are a thing of the past I'm afraid. I'll be around every now and then but probably not every single week. Just when exciting things are happening!

AMEN!!

Deployment Positive Thursday- Week 50

I'll be honest. I'm a blogging planner.

I've had this plan that towards the end of deployment I would blog about how prepared I am, how I've been packed for weeks on end, and how all I need is that call and I'd be ready to hit the road to Kentucky.

The problem: no matter how excited I am for something, I just can't motivate myself to pack. I hate it! I hate it, so much! (One time my dad asked me which I hated more: packing or terrorists. And I actually had to think about it) I really, truly believed that I would have been so excited for Andrew's return that I would have just been packed.

Nope. Nope. Nope.

I am, however, getting prepared to pack, which I guess is a step in the right direction. I have lists and lists and list of things I need to remember to bring down. Andrew's stuff, my stuff, our stuff... big things, little things, new songs and audio books on my iPhone. Everything has been accounted for, I've even printed out several different versions of directions for my drive to Louisville. But in regards to actually packing, nothing has been done. It's somewhat pathetic, but apparently I am the only one who is actually surprised by this, everyone else I've mentioned this to says "no, kidding, you HATE packing!"

I know it's not exactly the best picture I've ever taken, but here is my list. 2' X 3' ... and still being added to! (aslo check out my sweet mapquest directions, just incase my GPS decides to crap-out on me)

I think it's safe to say that I'm pretty excited for Andrew to come home. We still don't have a firm grasp on when he is expected to be stateside again, but I know it is soon. Each day is a step closer. Unfortunately, at this point in the deployment though, time       

                                                                      is

                                                                                dragging.............................................

Deployment Positive Thursday- Week 49

I think this time of year it is reasonably normal for one to do a lot of reflecting. As we enter into the heart of the Holiday Season, everyone seems to be focused on Christmas and New Years which is right around the corner.

"What a year it's been" and "can you believe that XYZ happened this year" along with tv specials, news articles and blogs (my own included) are seen and heard everywhere reminding us of everything that has happened in the world in the past (almost) 365 days.

I have to say, it's pretty neat to book-end this deployment with New Years Celebrations. It shows me how far I've come, how much has changed around me, and exactly how many celebrities and political figures have completely lost their minds since Andrew has been deployed. Especially for me, the absolute freak about numbers and dates, it's beet a pretty cool way to wind down this deployment.

For example, Charlie Sheen was somewhat sane on X-Day. Nobody outside the state of New York had ever heard of Anthony Weiner, Kim Kardashian had only been on a few dates with her now ex-husband, and oh yeah... Osama bin Laden was still creepin' around. It's just been cool to see all the re-caps going on lately and realize that although I sometimes feel like life and the world around me has been on a stand-still this year, that is in fact, not the case.

Keeping with the Holiday theme, I'd like to share with you all what I asked for for Christmas this year. The only thing I want is for Andrew to call home on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Nothing could replace hearing his voice actually talking to him!

But my soldier had other plans for my Christmas gift this year, and forgive me but I have to brag a little bit about how absolutely amazing this guy is! Waiting for me under the Dolan Family Christmas Tree tonight (my last night in Etown before heading home to New Hampshire) was a very small box with a beautiful white ribbon, and inside were the most gorgeous pair of diamond and sapphire earrings I have ever seen!

I was absolutely overwhelmed (and even teared up a bit) as Dad said "AJ really wanted to make sure you opened this before you left". I really miss Andrew (understatement of the year) and opening that gift that I was in no way expecting just absolutely warmed my heart. I can't wait to have that boy back home soon and give him his Christmas present!

That is one of the very few benefits of spending the holidays apart... making other days into holidays! We had Christmas today when I opened my earrings, Christmas will happen for the world on Sunday, and we'll have Christmas again when Andrew is home! Not too shabby for a couple-weeks' span!

Deployment Positive Thursday- Week 48

Another week down. Thank God.

For the record- Deployment "Positive" Thursday was a horrible idea. Some weeks just plain stink. I am soooooo ready for this deployment to be over and for life to stop feeling like it is on hold. Some nights I just need to have a big, huge bear hug from my big, strong man. It just plain stinks to wait months on end for a single hug.

There is good news though, Andrew got his last care package a few days ago! It also happened to be his Christmas Care Package, so it's just one more sign that we are that much closer to the end of the holiday season and his homecoming. (Once again, Thank GOD!)

I went all out on decorating this care package (kinda like his birthday one) and it was by far the biggest one that I have sent all year..

Can you spot the tree? Complete with ornaments!

I absolutely did NOT send that nasty ugly terrible towel. Gross.

Hump-Day Happiness

These days, nothing gets me quite as happy as seeing a picture of my favorite boy.

So imagine my surprise when I logged onto Facebook this morning and one of his soldiers had uploaded this sucker:

If that's not a great way to start my day, I don't know what is!

 

Winding Down, But Not Done Yet

Recently, I've been getting a lot of questions like "how does it feel" and "how much longer" in regards to my fiance's impending return from that nasty war zone he has called home for the past year.

Yeah, a year... but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Honestly, it feels down right amazing to know that we are nearing the end of our very first deployment. I have learned so much over the course of this year, and I know that Andrew and I have both grown individually, as well as in our relationship. It's interesting, because I felt a very similar sensation after Ranger School, and I have often expressed how military separations really do have a way of weeding out the weak couples, while building strong foundations for the strong.

Even though it does feel great that we will be reaching our last huge milestone on Friday (the 11 month mark), but there is always the ever-present thought that this deployment is not over, Andrew is not out of harms way until his boots are on the ground in front of me, and just because we are this close to the end does not make this part of the deployment any easier than any other part of deployment.

Andrew and I talked about this very briefly the other day. His attitude is perfect (for a soldier; I'm not so sure it works as well on the homefront though). I don't think Andrew thinks a whole lot about coming home yet. He says, "gotta play hard til the end, baby", and he is right. The Taliban aren't going to stop planting IEDs just because he is coming home to his gung-ho, pro-American wife-to-be in a couple of weeks. (I have to squeal a little when I say weeks, because we just can't count the months anymore!)

I guess my whole outlook on life lately has been a lot like this post, because this is taking an entirely different direction than I had planned. I feel unorganized, all over the place, and generally lost. Only recently have I realized that other peoples' lives have not stood still for the past year. Others had an entirely normal 2011 with promotions, birthdays, moves, new cars, additions to the family and kids moving on in school. Think about it: there are babies - real human beings - who exist today, who weren't even a gleam in their parents' eye yet when Andrew left last January. That is absolutely crazy!!!

I've just been very nostalgic lately, I think. I deeply miss my best friend. I miss staying up late, saying "let's just watch one more episode" of whatever show we happen to be bingeing on that week, I miss waking up to the smell of Chocolate Chip Pancakes, riding around in the truck and on the motorcycle, datenights, and generally just spending time together.

But what I am really missing lately is being complete goofballs together. We have a hard time taking anything too seriously, and it's one of my favorite parts about our relationship, we really do just like having fun with one another.

(This was one of our favorite pastimes in our early days.. PhotoBooth on Andrew's Mac. I think this was taken in the winter of 2007)

Deployment Positive Thursday- Week 46

(slightly delayed due to the craziest work-day ever yesterday)

Well lookie there....

Its finally that time of year where it's socially acceptable to countdown to something!

I've been waiting since MAY to hang this sucker (can you guess where I got it? Hint: It's the happiest place on earth!)

And, as I hung the first ornament on my wonderful advent calendar, I also did a small victory dance for having started our last full month of this deployment. Yep, you heard that right: Andrew will be home next month. I think I'm more excited for this advent calendar to be over than for any other countdown ever in my life. We are so close, 2011 is almost over and then just a few more wake-ups until I see my soldier!



Where are you, Christmas?

With Thanksgiving officially behind us, it's time to roll out the Santa carpets, put up the tree, string the lights, and generally make the house look Christmasy. Woo! My favorite time of year.

But it just doesn't feel right this year.

For the past 316 days (not that anyone is counting), I have been looking forward to the Christmas Season. It was a sign that the last month of deployment is coming and this whole year will eventually end.

But now that the "Christmas Season" is actually here, something is just not right. It doesn't seem like Christmas. At all.

It could have something to do with the fact that (other than that freak Halloween Snow Storm) we haven't seen any snow, or temperatures even remotely resembling "cold", but I'm not entirely convinced that's it. Being a New Englander, we almost always have snow accumulated on or before Turkey Day (and that snow will basically cover the ground until March or April), so not even a threat of snow at this point feels a little weird to me. At least if it was cold, I might feel a little more Christmasy, but it was sixty degrees today! Do you know how funny Christmas Wreaths and ribbons on shopping plazas look when you wear capris and a short sleeve blouse to work? Absolutely ridiculous! This isn't Florida, people... last time I checked Pennsylvania is still a part of the North East! Let's see some snow!

I guess I always pictured this part of the year snow covered and blistering cold, like it was when Andrew left. To me, when the weather got back to where it was when he left, it would mean he was returning to me soon. Two nights before X Day, we rode the motorcycle to the Sushi Restaurant down the street. A ten minute drive in 27 degree weather, even with millions of layers on, will absolutely chill any human being to their very core. Where is that blistering cold weather? I want it now... give me a sign that my soldier is coming home soon!

So yes, I'm disappointed that I'm not freezing my tooshie off right now, but part of this lack of Christmas feeling, is my heart feeling so wrong about celebrating Christmas without Andrew. Thanksgiving, Easter, Veterans' Day, Fourth of July all felt a little empty, but Christmas is Christmas. You're supposed to be with the ones you love. Getting excited about not spending Christmas with Andrew feels like getting excited to ride a roller coaster alone, or go on vacation alone, or play Monopoly Deal alone... It's just not right.

I'm working on it though. I decided I don't want to be like Charlie Brown this year.

So I asked myself, how did Charlie Brown get out of his Christmas funk? He asked "Isn't there anybody who can tell me what Christmas is all about?" and Linus and his blanket told him the story of Christmas.

Sure, Charlie Brown, I can tell you what Christmas is all about. 

Lights, please.

And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'

 That's what Christmas is all about, Charlie Brown. 

I can hear exactly how Linus says it. 

So, I decided to enrich myself this holiday season. If the story of Christmas can make Charlie Brown feel better, surely it can help me. I found a Bible reading plan app on my iPhone that tells me key passages in The Bible to read each night. The one I chose picks passages about the prophesy of the Messiah coming as well as the birth and life of Jesus Christ. I'm on day two, and I can feel myself relaxing as I read my passages each night. It's almost like I can feel a peace passing over me. So I know, that slowly but surely, I will come to celebrate this joyous season. 

And one of the most calm feelings I got was last night, when I turned to the inside cover of my bible and read :

To Kristina, Love Mom Dolan

January 16, 2010

Mom gave me this bible exactly 365 days before Andrew deployed. If that doesn't give me peace, I don't know what will.

Deployment Positive Thursday- Week 45

Happy Thanksgiving, everybody!

Today, I am thankful for so much in my life, but mindful of those who are not celebrating with us... especially that empty seat at my table.

I wanted to share these pictures of the Comanche Thanksgiving Fest (which came after a pretty long mission for Andrew). What are the soldiers thankful for? No corn dogs or MRE's today!

 There is Andrew all the way on the right, on the far side of the table!

And here is a better look at the amazing turkey day spread at the COP.