What a Difference a Year Makes

As Thanksgiving came and went this year, I found myself getting more excited than usual for the approaching Christmas Season. I couldn't get our tree and decorations up early enough (even though Andrew did make me wait until AFTER Turkey Day), and everything about the holiday season was making me positively giddy.

It took me a couple of days to realize that I was making up for how miserable and stressed out I was at this time last year. Although I didn't care to admit it at the time, Christmas 2011 was one of the hardest times of my life, and definitely a low point of the deployment. I was over the deployment, and the lack of communication. I was happy for families who were welcoming their soldiers home from shortened deployments to Iraq during the withdrawal, and part of me was excited that main body flights from our brigade were starting to return home to Fort Knox, but I just wanted it to be our turn. The days and weeks leading up to Christmas and watching others' joy surrounding the season just re-enforced the fact that I would be spending yet another holiday without the one person I love the most in the world, and after nearly twelve months apart that really started to wear on me.

But I did "survive" Christmas and the holidays, and welcomed my husband-to-be home a mere eleven days later, and all of that stress and worry was temporarily forgotten. It took me nearly a year into the reintegration and homecoming process for me to realize that a part of who I am was missing last year.

When Christmas started creeping up this year, I couldn't contain my excitement. I had so much Christmas Cheer to make up for! All is how it should be in our world. This year will be the sixth Christmas that we celebrate together, and yet it is only our very first Christmas Tree. I found myself getting so emotional when we were decorating our tree, thinking of all the time we have spent apart in the last couple of years, (and all of the time we will spend apart in the future)- and knowing that no matter what, nothing will every be able to take away this very special memory of our first real Christmas together.

We have been having such a blast this month, doing every Christmas-y activity we can think of and soaking up every moment of this joyous holiday season that we are so blessed to be able to spend together.

The Most Magical Day...

I suppose that it is time for my brief (and unintentional) hiatus from the blogging world to come to and end. To say that life over the last six months has been busy and exciting, would be nothing but an understatement. Two moves, a wedding, and a new job for both Andrew and myself is just the tip of the iceberg.

I've been finding myself really missing the blogging world, and now that Andrew's unit is back into full-swing training, I think it's a good time to reintroduce myself as the newest Mrs. Dolan!

Of course, the biggest milestone of the past six months was August 4th, our wedding day. People constantly ask me if it was the best day of my life, and it's a question that's hard for me to answer. Was it the best party of my life? Yes! The most fun I've ever had? Absolutely! But I will always have a very special place in my heart reserved for a mere six months and twenty eight days prior to our wedding day... Andrew's safe return home from his first deployment. It's impossible for me to chose between the two as my "favorite day", and truthfully I consider myself so blessed to have that problem.

Click here to view our Wedding Video!

One more goodbye

A couple of years ago, when we were really just starting out on this military journey and long distance relationship, a good friend of mine gave me one of the best pieces of advice I have received. I was getting so upset every time I would have to leave Andrew to go home again.

She told me: "every goodbye now is one goodbye less until you won't have to say goodbyes anymore". At the time, I couldn't even imagine a world without long distance phone calls, good morning text messages and airport goodbyes, but here we are. This weekend will be my last trip to Kentucky (and my first attempt at cooking a holiday meal- yikes) before moving down to be with Andrew next month. It is hard to believe we made it through four Army training schools, including ranger school, and a 12 month deployment and now the beginning of our lives together can actually start.

Of course, the Army throws a wrench in the traditional American family lifestyle, so we will have our fair share of "see ya laters" coming our way, but I love knowing that for the foreseeable future I will get to see my future husband every day. We've almost made it... Just a couple more weeks to go!

Thank YOU!

I checked my blog this afternoon for the first time in a couple of days (I love how busy and back to normal life is lately- between visits to see Andrew, working, job searching, planning a wedding and getting ready for a move, blogging seems to be the thing being left behind) and was absolutely astonished when I saw that it had over 15,000 hits.

MY blog! My little itty bitty corner of the internet.  (What's even more amazing is that the several dozen email subscribers never even opened the URL, just got updates right in their inbox. Imagine the numbers I would have without that feature!) That's pretty impressive, if I do say so myself, for a blog that has only been public for just over a year.

It's pretty darn cool to think that what started as a way to journal my thoughts and our journey while Andrew was in Ranger School (because honestly, it's a million times faster for me to type than it is to write with a pen) became what it has. I needed this venting mechanism over the past year. I needed a place to (try to) be positive even when things weren't looking so great; when I felt scared or lonely, or just sad. And when those times hit, sometimes it felt really good to put on my happy bloggy face and pretend like everything was peachy-keen for that moment in time.

So thank you, whoever you are, and wherever you may be, for letting me share our story. The feedback I have received from friends and family, along with complete strangers has been truly a gift, and has given me such strength.

Leap!!!

Well it only comes around once every four years, so I always think February 29th is a great time for reflections. Four years ago I was living in beautiful Florence, Italy and Andrew was on a transatlantic flight to come visit me and explore my new home.

I can honestly say that four years ago I had no earthly idea that I would be living in Hershey Pennsylvania today. Or that we would have just finished a full year away from one another- that's "deployment" and "platoon" stuff Andrew was always talking about. We also had no idea what branch he would be in, or where we would be stationed (although, one time, very early on, Andrew asked me "so how do you feel about Kentucky, babe?"-- funny how things unfold).

So here we are, with a lot of the same questions about Leap Day 2016. Where will the army send us? What friends will we meet there? What will be going on in the world?

I don't know about you, but I'm excited for the ride and the adventures ahead of us!

A Different Take on Olde Glory

Last month, before Andrew came home to Pennsylvania for his first block leave, I wanted to do something different but fun for when he got back. Shannon saw a fun wreath handmade by one of her cousins online, so she and I and Mom Dolan decided to take a stab at it.

We started with what seemed like hundreds of 3 x 3 inch felt squares in red, white and blue.

Then we marked off our foam ring to make sure we didn't get too carried away with a certain color

This part took a little trial and error. First we tried putting pins in the middle of the squares, but then they didnt stay up.

So we folded them into triangles and pinned them from the side

It worked like a charm!

In just over an hour, we had our wreath!



Shannon added stars, and then it was ready to hang on the front door, just in time to welcome our favorite soldier home, sweet home!

Love, Valentines, and Learning to Share Again

Considering the fact that on valentines day last year we were approximately 8,000 miles apart and not even 30 days into our first deployment, celebrating Valentines 2012 a few days early made me one of the happiest girls in the world. As military families will tell you, we don't ever miss holidays, we just don't always celebrate them when the calendar tells us to. So for Valentines Day this year, we had a fabulous dinner, I was showered with lots of thoughtful gifts, and I got to spend time with my man. Not much can top that.

However, I made a mistake long ago. Once upon a time, before I understood what "army life" really meant, I told Andrew that flowers were a waste of money. (I know ladies, what was I thinking?) So guess what, every birthday and holiday I drop hints for how pretty flowers are (because I do love flowers, I just don't think they are necessary all the time, especially when you see each other day in and day out... But for special occasions, holidays, birthday, feeling sick days, I think they are a beautiful way to show somebody you care) and every year Andrew reminds me that "you always agreed they are a waste of money". He doesn't even allow me to argue that he is taking this completely out of context before the conversation is over.

So imagine my delight and surprise when real-valentines day rolled around, and these beauties were waiting for me on the kitchen table!

I am one lucky, and very in love girl!

My first reaction was to call my favorite boy and thank him for completely warming my heart and making my Valentines Day special. The second thing I wanted to do was take pictures!

Problem.

Our nice camera is in Kentucky.

It was my camera for a whole year. But now Andrew is home and I spend a lot of time with him below the Mason-Dixon line with him, so it just made sense to have it there.

But in that moment, I wanted it here. I wanted it to be my camera again, and not have to share.

It took about .25 seconds for me to snap out of it (and take another look at my beautiful roses) before I realized how silly I was being. A year ago I would have given anything to call up Andrew just to say hi and thanks, all while knowing I would be seeing him in two weeks.

Six weeks into post-deployment life and real-life is back! It's so nice to not have every thought revolve around the deployment, or the fact that Andrew is home (and feeling stressed if I wasn't spending every.single.second. with him). It's so hard to explain, but I spend so long, praying for my life to be "normal" again, and now, seemingly in the blink of an eye, it is- and I couldn't be more thankful.

So yes, there are changes going on, and new situations to get used to. But they are wonderful changes, and I am grateful for them. We are at a healthy point in the reintegration process, finally back into the swing of our lives-- both separately and together-- and pretty much loving every moment of it. As I wrap up my final project with my job here in Pennsylvania, I'm really looking forward to the job search process and the promise of new challenges and adventures once I move to Kentucky in a few months.

Reunited and it Feels so Good

As our first Post-Deployment Block Leave comes to an end, I wanted to take a look at a list I made early in the deployment regarding all the things we were missing and wanted to do when Andrew returned home. My original list is below in black, and my 2012 updates are in red next to them. Without trying to (infact, I had almost forgotten that I made this list), we nearly accomplished everything on this list.

1. Get every single hug and kiss in that we can- currently enjoying this
2. Go to Dinner and a movie- done and done
3. Text and call whenever we want to without being charged an arm and a leg- loving this
4. Have SUSHI and experiment with all new kinds of fish- Three sushi dates under our belts in the first month- great success
5. Catch up on How I Met Your Mother and Entourage
6. Fall in love with new shows together- ummmm... every heard of The League? and Jimmy Fallon. Actually this is fun because we are introducing each other to new shows!
7. Go to McDonalds and get 50% off when he wears his uniform- In all honestly, I just can't see us doing this
8. Have a lazy day watching movies in our PJs- if lazy = slightly hungover :)
9. Wake up to the smell of his home-made Chocolate Chip Pancakes- I'll never get enough of this
10. Have a wedding food-tasting day to decide what will be served at the wedding! - TOMORROW!
11. LOTS of Country Concerts!
12. Take a picture of Andrew with his cardboard cut out clone- We actually did this over leave, and it was creepy, but awesome
13. Trips to Boston
14. ... and eating at Fire & Ice- (still planning these two)
15. Watching Andrew catch up on all that missed time with his nieces and nephews- one of my favorite things to do! "Uncle AJ! Watch this!" "No, Uncle AJ, look at me!" Ah they can't get enough of him!
16. Pick out wedding bands (jewelry, not musicians)- soon
17. Long rides in the truck with nowhere in particular to go, just talking and singing along to country music- still remains one of my favorite passtimes
18. Motorcycle rides on winding back country roads in the springtime- springtime, dead of winter... same thing, right?
19. Getting the motorcycle out of the apartment.... - GIANT check mark in that box!
20. Celebrate every 2012 holiday together- not sure I remembered that Andrew is in the ARMY when I wrote this...
21. Finally become a family on August 4, 2012- love
22. Road trips to explore new cities
23. Maybe go to Indianapolis for the Super Bowl- I thank the Good Lord that we did not do this. I don't think my heart could have survived such dispair.
24. Dinners at Chili's started off with Kickin' Jack Nachos- "Chachi's"
25. Red Sox games

2011 Right in Front of my Very Eyes!

Ever wonder what a whole year of your life looks like in text and pictures?

So did I.

Then I found http://www.blog2print.com/ and now I know!

This website was one of the easiest tools I've ever used on the internet. All I had to do was enter in my URL and pick a front and back cover photo and BOOM! I was done.

127 pages of every thought and picture that I blogged about over the past year-- and I can thumb through it anytime I want! It's pretty cool to look back through everything that had happened while Andrew was off fighting for our country's freedom, but what I'm really excited for is to look back on this in years to come. We have a hard, documented copy of our first deployment, and I can't wait to share it with our children and grandchildren in the (very very distant) future.

How cool would it be to spy on a year of your grandparents' life? I think it would be pretty darn exciting.



Back in the Swing of Things

As yesterday officially marked 1 month since Andrew's boots returned to American soil, I realized how very much has changed in our lives in just a few short weeks. Throughout the deployment I would allow myself to dabble in little bits of wedding planning here and there, but now that I have my Hubby-to-be home safe and sound... boy, oh boy, are things rolling!

As excited as I was to plan our wedding while Andrew was gone (and spare him from the "which linen do you prefer? Lavendar, or light lavendar?" conversations), there was always that part that forced me to go to the "what if" place that I spent every day and night trying to keep out of my mind. For each contract I signed, I had to add a clause about refunding the deposit and voiding the contract due to "Military Circumstances beyond the Groom's control". Don't get me wrong, those clauses will most assuredly still be included in all remaining contracts (because, let's face it, we're dealing with the military...) but the implications of that clause are a lot less severe at this point. I spent so much time during this deployment not allowing myself to think of the worst-case scenario (and even now, a month after his safe return I won't even allow myself to type the words), that each time I added that clause to a contract, I felt like I was jinxing Andrew's safety. I hated that feeling.

But here we are, February 2012, and less than 6 months to go until our wedding all of a sudden! Andrew is in the middle of his first of two two-week block leaves, and we are readjusting to life together. I love coming home after a long day of work and having him there waiting to greet me with a kiss! It's so nice to have date-nights whenever we want to, and ride the Harley, watch TV together, and just spend time together. I love that we are just back to "us", no prepping for upcoming schools, or serparations, just living life together in the here and now... something we haven't truly been able to do in years.

It's funny how easily I forgot how much fun we have together. I spent so much time missing the hugs and kisses and stuff, that I almost forgot that Andrew is my best friend, and its just fun to be together! I have to say, it's pretty darn cool (and heck yeah, I'm proud of us for this) that we went an entire year without seeing each other and in many ways it feels like we are stronger than ever. We're finding our way into our next "new normal" and pretty much just enjoying the ride.

Life is good. And I am one very happy girl these days.

Sleep Style

Waking up this morning on Day 21 of Re-integration, a couple of things struck me. As we are getting into the rhythum of our "new normal", I realized that our reintegration process is much different from most traditional military families.

Most couples have to re-learn how to live together, how to fall back into their traditional parenting roles, and how to return to their 'normal' household responsibilities. Since we don't yet live together, we are adjusting to life in a long-distance relationship that is leaps and bounds different from the long-distance situation we found ourselves in in 2011. I wrote earlier this week about how great it was to call whenever we wanted to, but I have to say, the biggest difference I've noticed since welcoming my soldier home has been my sleep habits.

For the past 12 months a restful sleep was never exactly easy to come by. Although I didn't realize it at the time, there were some thoughts, worries and fears that never left me throughout the entire deployment. Even when there were other things going on, I always carried the realities of where Andrew was and what he was doing in everything that I did. So when my mind was supposed to be "at rest", well... It wasn't.

I've never been the type of person who falls asleep the moment my head hits the pillow, but while Andrew was gone, I would lay awake for hours most nights just praying that sleep would find its way to me. Some nights (mornings for Andrew) we were able to text with each other but never for too long before it was time for another patrol or Andrew would remind me how many hours past midnight it was for me, and that I really needed to be getting some rest.

Now, I put Friends on (thank you, Nick at Nite) at eleven, knowing that Andrew is safely in his bed... Or playing video games on his couch. I love the feeling of getting so tired while watching one of my favorite episodes and knowing that as soon as I turn it off it won't be very long until I'm blissfully sleeping.

That sleep itself is actually a lot different too. I find myself waking up rested, and remembering vivid details of my dreams, yet another thing that I didn't realize wasn't happening during the deployment. And I'm having FUN dreams again! Why, just this week I had a dream that I was Kelly Ripa's guest co-host on Live! With regis and Kelly! It was so fun, and Mark Walberg was there, and a puppy! Who doesn't love that?!

So yes, I am definitely getting used to the changes in our life and so far I'm just positively loving 2012! Andrew gets home tomorrow night for two weeks of block leave and I can't wait! There was a time in my pre-deployment life that I would have complained about the fact that leave got pushed back essentially a full 24 hours, but these days, I know it's better than where we were at this point last year. Plus, how can I possibly complain about something so small when there are so many people (and many close friends) still waiting for their magic homecoming moment? I'll just be happy to see my boy tomorrow evening!

Well, will you look at that... This girl is growing up :)

Oh yeah, that thing called "life"?

... I kinda forgot that it actually exists outside of countdowns, slow moving calendars and all too infrequent phone calls. I love not adding 8 1/2 hours to the current time to figure out what time of day it was in Andrew's AO. I love that we can call each other on our way home from work (although, to be honest, I'm still not completely used to this. I still get that split second of panic when his ringtone unexpectedly plays on my cellphone, a leftover reflex reaction from the months he spent in harm's way when unexpected phone calls were NEVER a good sign).

But all in all life is just fun these days! We are both looking forward to block leave which starts this weekend, and even though we don't have any trips planned, just the thought of 15 days of uninterrupted time together is good enough for us! And I've even got Andrew's very first post-deployment Honey-Do list! Don't worry, it's nothing huge or earth shattering, just a few (mainly car things) man-tasks that I've been meaning to get done, but now that he's home, guess what?! Its his job! Ahhh, the joys of sharing responsibilities again!

Day 355. . . Utter Relief

Okay, okay... I think I've taken a long enough hiatus from blogging. Believe me though, you would have done the exact. same. thing. if you were in my shoes.

So far, 2012 has been nothing short of magical. Part of me still doesn't believe that this is all real; that everything I have been hoping and praying for for so long is finally here. But guess what? IT IS! And I couldn't be happier!

As our first deployment began to wind down, I noticed myself getting more and more impatient with everything that had just become "normal life" for the past year. I was over it, 8 Main Body flights with thousands of soldiers had already come home to Fort Knox, and I was ready for it to be our turn.

On Tuesday, January 3, 2012 I started the 599.6 mile journey to Louisville. It was a long drive, but totally worth it when I got to our apartment and had days to get everything cleaned and ready for my soldier's return.

On Wednesday Morning, I got my 72 hour notice call, letting me know that Andrew's flight was scheduled and that the homecoming ceremony for Main Body 9 would be on Friday Evening! I wanted so badly to shout it from the rooftops, announce it on every social media outlet on earth, and text everyone I knew. It was so hard to follow OPSEC and keep this information mainly to myself, but I did it, not only to keep the soldiers safe, but also to ensure that and OPSEC violation wouldn't further delay the flight.

The next few days were long, as I watched more friends return home to their loved ones, and finally Andrew's family arrived in Louisville on Friday afternoon. We had pizza at the apartment, and waited for what seemed like an eternity for my 4 hour notice call. When I got it at 6:58 pm I finally let myself get excited. This call meant that Andrew's flight had landed safely at the Louisville Airport. He was within 15 miles of me, and we just had to get through the next couple of hours (and outprocessing paperwork on his end) and a drive down to Fort Knox (about 40 minutes) before we were done with our first deployment.

I finished getting ready, got in the car with the rest of the family and we were on our way! I wish I could put every thought and feeling I had into words, but the truth of the matter is that the next couple of hours are nothing but a haze to me. I expected myself to be a complete emotional wreck (similar to the way I was when he returned home in October for R&R) but in all honesty, I was numb. Like I wouldn't let myself believe that the moment I had been waiting for so long for was finally here. And when I did see Andrew, I felt nothing but shear relief. No more waking in the middle of the night to a weird cell phone noise and not being able to get back to sleep, no more heart stopping every time the door bell rings (although, I think a part of my mind will always go 'there' when we have an unexpected visitor). My prayers had been answered and my soldier was home.

I know from experience, that the best part about other couples' homecomings are the pictures.... so here are some of our favorites

All of us waiting for HOURS!

Finally, they started lifting the curtain, and we could see boots.

My best guess is that it took about 7-10 minutes to fully raise the curtain. This was one of the longest waits of my life.

On 6 January at 2300 hours, 271 soldiers returned home to family and friends.

Searching the see of identical-looking men for mine!

FINALLY!

So what is next for us? Just enjoying life for once. Andrew is participating in his "reintegration training" daily at Fort Knox and I am returning to life as normal back in Pennsylvania. I have some responsibilities to finish at work before joining him in Kentucky this Spring.

As for the blog... don't worry, it's not going away! DPT's, however, are a thing of the past I'm afraid. I'll be around every now and then but probably not every single week. Just when exciting things are happening!

AMEN!!