I suppose that it is time for my brief (and unintentional) hiatus from the blogging world to come to and end. To say that life over the last six months has been busy and exciting, would be nothing but an understatement. Two moves, a wedding, and a new job for both Andrew and myself is just the tip of the iceberg.
I've been finding myself really missing the blogging world, and now that Andrew's unit is back into full-swing training, I think it's a good time to reintroduce myself as the newest Mrs. Dolan!
Of course, the biggest milestone of the past six months was August 4th, our wedding day. People constantly ask me if it was the best day of my life, and it's a question that's hard for me to answer. Was it the best party of my life? Yes! The most fun I've ever had? Absolutely! But I will always have a very special place in my heart reserved for a mere six months and twenty eight days prior to our wedding day... Andrew's safe return home from his first deployment. It's impossible for me to chose between the two as my "favorite day", and truthfully I consider myself so blessed to have that problem.
Considering the fact that on valentines day last year we were approximately 8,000 miles apart and not even 30 days into our first deployment, celebrating Valentines 2012 a few days early made me one of the happiest girls in the world. As military families will tell you, we don't ever miss holidays, we just don't always celebrate them when the calendar tells us to. So for Valentines Day this year, we had a fabulous dinner, I was showered with lots of thoughtful gifts, and I got to spend time with my man. Not much can top that.
However, I made a mistake long ago. Once upon a time, before I understood what "army life" really meant, I told Andrew that flowers were a waste of money. (I know ladies, what was I thinking?) So guess what, every birthday and holiday I drop hints for how pretty flowers are (because I do love flowers, I just don't think they are necessary all the time, especially when you see each other day in and day out... But for special occasions, holidays, birthday, feeling sick days, I think they are a beautiful way to show somebody you care) and every year Andrew reminds me that "you always agreed they are a waste of money". He doesn't even allow me to argue that he is taking this completely out of context before the conversation is over.
So imagine my delight and surprise when real-valentines day rolled around, and these beauties were waiting for me on the kitchen table!
I am one lucky, and very in love girl!
My first reaction was to call my favorite boy and thank him for completely warming my heart and making my Valentines Day special. The second thing I wanted to do was take pictures!
Problem.
Our nice camera is in Kentucky.
It was my camera for a whole year. But now Andrew is home and I spend a lot of time with him below the Mason-Dixon line with him, so it just made sense to have it there.
But in that moment, I wanted it here. I wanted it to be my camera again, and not have to share.
It took about .25 seconds for me to snap out of it (and take another look at my beautiful roses) before I realized how silly I was being. A year ago I would have given anything to call up Andrew just to say hi and thanks, all while knowing I would be seeing him in two weeks.
Six weeks into post-deployment life and real-life is back! It's so nice to not have every thought revolve around the deployment, or the fact that Andrew is home (and feeling stressed if I wasn't spending every.single.second. with him). It's so hard to explain, but I spend so long, praying for my life to be "normal" again, and now, seemingly in the blink of an eye, it is- and I couldn't be more thankful.
So yes, there are changes going on, and new situations to get used to. But they are wonderful changes, and I am grateful for them. We are at a healthy point in the reintegration process, finally back into the swing of our lives-- both separately and together-- and pretty much loving every moment of it. As I wrap up my final project with my job here in Pennsylvania, I'm really looking forward to the job search process and the promise of new challenges and adventures once I move to Kentucky in a few months.
Okay, okay... I think I've taken a long enough hiatus from blogging. Believe me though, you would have done the exact. same. thing. if you were in my shoes.
So far, 2012 has been nothing short of magical. Part of me still doesn't believe that this is all real; that everything I have been hoping and praying for for so long is finally here. But guess what? IT IS! And I couldn't be happier!
As our first deployment began to wind down, I noticed myself getting more and more impatient with everything that had just become "normal life" for the past year. I was over it, 8 Main Body flights with thousands of soldiers had already come home to Fort Knox, and I was ready for it to be our turn.
On Tuesday, January 3, 2012 I started the 599.6 mile journey to Louisville. It was a long drive, but totally worth it when I got to our apartment and had days to get everything cleaned and ready for my soldier's return.
On Wednesday Morning, I got my 72 hour notice call, letting me know that Andrew's flight was scheduled and that the homecoming ceremony for Main Body 9 would be on Friday Evening! I wanted so badly to shout it from the rooftops, announce it on every social media outlet on earth, and text everyone I knew. It was so hard to follow OPSEC and keep this information mainly to myself, but I did it, not only to keep the soldiers safe, but also to ensure that and OPSEC violation wouldn't further delay the flight.
The next few days were long, as I watched more friends return home to their loved ones, and finally Andrew's family arrived in Louisville on Friday afternoon. We had pizza at the apartment, and waited for what seemed like an eternity for my 4 hour notice call. When I got it at 6:58 pm I finally let myself get excited. This call meant that Andrew's flight had landed safely at the Louisville Airport. He was within 15 miles of me, and we just had to get through the next couple of hours (and outprocessing paperwork on his end) and a drive down to Fort Knox (about 40 minutes) before we were done with our first deployment.
I finished getting ready, got in the car with the rest of the family and we were on our way! I wish I could put every thought and feeling I had into words, but the truth of the matter is that the next couple of hours are nothing but a haze to me. I expected myself to be a complete emotional wreck (similar to the way I was when he returned home in October for R&R) but in all honesty, I was numb. Like I wouldn't let myself believe that the moment I had been waiting for so long for was finally here. And when I did see Andrew, I felt nothing but shear relief. No more waking in the middle of the night to a weird cell phone noise and not being able to get back to sleep, no more heart stopping every time the door bell rings (although, I think a part of my mind will always go 'there' when we have an unexpected visitor). My prayers had been answered and my soldier was home.
I know from experience, that the best part about other couples' homecomings are the pictures.... so here are some of our favorites
All of us waiting for HOURS!
Finally, they started lifting the curtain, and we could see boots.
My best guess is that it took about 7-10 minutes to fully raise the curtain. This was one of the longest waits of my life.
On 6 January at 2300 hours, 271 soldiers returned home to family and friends.
Searching the see of identical-looking men for mine!
FINALLY!
So what is next for us? Just enjoying life for once. Andrew is participating in his "reintegration training" daily at Fort Knox and I am returning to life as normal back in Pennsylvania. I have some responsibilities to finish at work before joining him in Kentucky this Spring.
As for the blog... don't worry, it's not going away! DPT's, however, are a thing of the past I'm afraid. I'll be around every now and then but probably not every single week. Just when exciting things are happening!
I think this time of year it is reasonably normal for one to do a lot of reflecting. As we enter into the heart of the Holiday Season, everyone seems to be focused on Christmas and New Years which is right around the corner.
"What a year it's been" and "can you believe that XYZ happened this year" along with tv specials, news articles and blogs (my own included) are seen and heard everywhere reminding us of everything that has happened in the world in the past (almost) 365 days.
I have to say, it's pretty neat to book-end this deployment with New Years Celebrations. It shows me how far I've come, how much has changed around me, and exactly how many celebrities and political figures have completely lost their minds since Andrew has been deployed. Especially for me, the absolute freak about numbers and dates, it's beet a pretty cool way to wind down this deployment.
For example, Charlie Sheen was somewhat sane on X-Day. Nobody outside the state of New York had ever heard of Anthony Weiner, Kim Kardashian had only been on a few dates with her now ex-husband, and oh yeah... Osama bin Laden was still creepin' around. It's just been cool to see all the re-caps going on lately and realize that although I sometimes feel like life and the world around me has been on a stand-still this year, that is in fact, not the case.
Keeping with the Holiday theme, I'd like to share with you all what I asked for for Christmas this year. The only thing I want is for Andrew to call home on Christmas Eve or Christmas Day. Nothing could replace hearing his voice actually talking to him!
But my soldier had other plans for my Christmas gift this year, and forgive me but I have to brag a little bit about how absolutely amazing this guy is! Waiting for me under the Dolan Family Christmas Tree tonight (my last night in Etown before heading home to New Hampshire) was a very small box with a beautiful white ribbon, and inside were the most gorgeous pair of diamond and sapphire earrings I have ever seen!
I was absolutely overwhelmed (and even teared up a bit) as Dad said "AJ really wanted to make sure you opened this before you left". I really miss Andrew (understatement of the year) and opening that gift that I was in no way expecting just absolutely warmed my heart. I can't wait to have that boy back home soon and give him his Christmas present!
That is one of the very few benefits of spending the holidays apart... making other days into holidays! We had Christmas today when I opened my earrings, Christmas will happen for the world on Sunday, and we'll have Christmas again when Andrew is home! Not too shabby for a couple-weeks' span!
Recently, I've been getting a lot of questions like "how does it feel" and "how much longer" in regards to my fiance's impending return from that nasty war zone he has called home for the past year.
Yeah, a year... but I'm getting ahead of myself.
Honestly, it feels down right amazing to know that we are nearing the end of our very first deployment. I have learned so much over the course of this year, and I know that Andrew and I have both grown individually, as well as in our relationship. It's interesting, because I felt a very similar sensation after Ranger School, and I have often expressed how military separations really do have a way of weeding out the weak couples, while building strong foundations for the strong.
Even though it does feel great that we will be reaching our last huge milestone on Friday (the 11 month mark), but there is always the ever-present thought that this deployment is not over, Andrew is not out of harms way until his boots are on the ground in front of me, and just because we are this close to the end does not make this part of the deployment any easier than any other part of deployment.
Andrew and I talked about this very briefly the other day. His attitude is perfect (for a soldier; I'm not so sure it works as well on the homefront though). I don't think Andrew thinks a whole lot about coming home yet. He says, "gotta play hard til the end, baby", and he is right. The Taliban aren't going to stop planting IEDs just because he is coming home to his gung-ho, pro-American wife-to-be in a couple of weeks. (I have to squeal a little when I say weeks, because we just can't count the months anymore!)
I guess my whole outlook on life lately has been a lot like this post, because this is taking an entirely different direction than I had planned. I feel unorganized, all over the place, and generally lost. Only recently have I realized that other peoples' lives have not stood still for the past year. Others had an entirely normal 2011 with promotions, birthdays, moves, new cars, additions to the family and kids moving on in school. Think about it: there are babies - real human beings - who exist today, who weren't even a gleam in their parents' eye yet when Andrew left last January. That is absolutely crazy!!!
I've just been very nostalgic lately, I think. I deeply miss my best friend. I miss staying up late, saying "let's just watch one more episode" of whatever show we happen to be bingeing on that week, I miss waking up to the smell of Chocolate Chip Pancakes, riding around in the truck and on the motorcycle, datenights, and generally just spending time together.
But what I am really missing lately is being complete goofballs together. We have a hard time taking anything too seriously, and it's one of my favorite parts about our relationship, we really do just like having fun with one another.
(This was one of our favorite pastimes in our early days.. PhotoBooth on Andrew's Mac. I think this was taken in the winter of 2007)
Since Andrew has returned to the sandbox, the best way to put a smile on my face is to look through our pictures from the most wonderful 5 days of the entire year... our trip to paradise.
Andrew and I visited Punta Cana in the Dominican Republic for a little getaway while he was home for Midtour Leave. It was simply P-E-R-F-E-C-T. There is no way for me to explain how amazing it felt to sit on the beach, reading our kindles, drinks in hand and have not a single worry in the world. For the first time in a long, long time I was completely, totally 100% happy. We had no schedule, no watches, no where to go and nobody to answer to. I guess you could say we were quite smitten with ourselves and our decision to take this vacation.
Our view from the room!
Tiki Hut where we got a moonlight massage on the beach
Good-bye Paradise... until next time :)
We sure do miss our mojito's on the beach, maybe someday we'll venture to paradise again!
For now, as the holidays (rapidly) approach, I'll be busy fast forwarding every clock and calendar I possibly can to get through these next few weeks of "joy and happiness on earth" until my soldier is back home safely in my arms again.
There is a Josh Turner Song (see above) that has always spoken to me and has often helped me through long separations. When Andrew came home last month and I ran into his arms, sobbed on his shoulder for minutes on end, while we held each other as tightly as I possibly could, and then finally got that first kiss I have been dreaming of for so long, it really rang true for me. We had briefly talked about making this our wedding song, but since it's about the Navy, we decided it was not quite "ours". That's not to say though that every single lyric to this song doesn't bring a tear to my eye, because it most definitely does; and depending on the day I'm having or the mood I'm in, most of the time I can't even make it through the song in it's entirety without skipping to the next song on my iPod (especially when I'm driving).
Last week I posted the first picture taken of Andrew and I in the past 9 months, but I didn't explain the story.
Andrew's tentative date to be home was Monday, October 17th. As I told many people during that time, if I were a betting woman, that is the one day in the entire month I could tell you 100% for certain that Andrew's leave would NOT start. Ding ding ding! Win for me. KO 1, Army 0. Not getting your hopes up is absolutely vital for any military family.
I had very little communication with Andrew while he was in transit (all in all, about 20 hours of flight time took him over 5 full days) so on Monday night when Andrew texted me and said he was in Germany, it wasn't shocked (at that point it had been about 2 days since I had heard word from him). Since the Army will pay for their soldiers going on R&R to fly anywhere in the world, Andrew's plan was to fly directly to Harrisburg. When he landed in Atlanta on Tuesday morning, he realized that flying into Baltimore would save him a layover in Chicago and add several more hours of leave. Thankfully, he was able to use the internet at the USO (great charity, if anyone is looking where to send their extra cash!) in Atlanta to get a hold of me and tell me his new plans.
So Tuesday at 4, Mom and Dad Dolan and I drove down to BWI to pick up our soldier! Honestly the whole day felt like a day dream. I couldn't eat, the night before I don't think I got a wink of sleep, and I was basically a complete basket case waiting in anticipation of seeing my sweetheart.
We got to the airport just as Andrew's flight was landing and waited for what seemed like another 9 months outside of the security checkpoint for Delta flights.
I was beginning to get worried that Andrew was already at baggage claim or that we were at the wrong place, when Dad leaned over to me and said "who is that, coming around that corner?"
My heart actually stopped. I almost choked on my own breath before he even caught a glimpse of me. Within a split second, I made the decision that I couldn't wait for him to walk another 20 feet to get to me, I said "I don't care, I'm goin' in!", ran past the huge "DO NOT ENTER" security checkpoint sign, and RAN as fast as I could. He had just enough time to throw his bag down before I reached him and we threw our arms around each other.
I couldn't even get words out. I made total girly-girl stupid sobbing noises I had never heard myself make before as I buried my face into his shoulder and all I remember was him saying "Wow, you're even prettier than I remember". It was the single most amazing feeling I have ever experienced in my life, and our first kiss was definitely the sweetest (and saltiest- because of my tears) of my life.
Pure Joy
Brotherly Love
Shannon and Andrew
It took a little while for the kids to warm up to their uncle, but within ten minutes they couldn't get enough of him!
A few months ago I asked Lillia what she was going to do when she saw Uncle AJ again. Her response: "Scream, of course! And then hug him forever"
Where is Afghanistan, Uncle AJ?
The kids (minus Jared) with their gifts from Afghanistan. Children don't have toys to play with, so the only thing Andrew could bring home for them were clothing items in the form of hats and scarves. (I love Austin's "tough-guy" face in this one!"
The first hours of R&R were perfect, just the way I envisioned them. We spent time with the family at the house and then extended family after the Aunt's finished bowling (without me-- Sorry, Aunt Lori!) and everything was right with the world- no worrying, no text messages, unlimited hugs and kisses, no quick addition to figure out what time it is in a place far away, and no holding my breath whenever the doorbell unexpectedly rang.
As of 12 hours ago, the best two weeks of 2011 have officially come to an end. I can't put into words how perfect it felt to have him back in my arms after 9 long months apart. This morning it was so difficult to drop him off again and say our "see ya laters", but knowing that we are down to a matter of weeks before our first deployment is over forever made it a tiny bit easier.
R&R was nothing short of fantastic. I am going to try to post about it in sections over the next couple of days because it is way to much to summarize all in one post (plus I'm pretty exhausted to be completely honest with you), but in the meantime, here are some of my favorite highlights from the past 16 days:
Wow, narrowing thousands of pictures down to just 3 was nearly impossible. More to come soon, I promise, now I'm off to bed with my cellphone on for the first time in two weeks.
Well I'm finally back home after a long week in Philadelphia for a work event. Events always drag every last bit of energy out of me so I am really really looking forward to this weekend. I am slowly recovering from my recent baseball heartbreak, but I don't know that I will ever completely get over that one.
This week I received an email from our unit's FRG (family readiness group) that filled my heart with joy. I was at a bar with coworkers and some of our exhibitors from the event when I realized a had gotten an email. I don't know what made me check it right then, but I started tearing up almost immediately. It may seem little to some people, but to me it is the very first step in the homecoming process. Not R&R, homecoming. This small, seemingly meaningless step just reassures me that this WILL eventually come to an end. I WILL see that boy again soon. And things WILL return to normal. Our new normal, and we can finally start our lives together.
So, what is this step? Our do-not-mail date! I can't believe it!! We have an actual, physical date that I can (and did) mark on my calendar that I can no longer send packages to Afghanistan any more! I cannot express the emotion that came with that email. This has been such a long road, and it has been challenging at times, but my God, the end is finally in sight.
As you may know, posting specific dates for anything regarding troop movement or redeployment (aka coming home) strictly violates OPSEC. Soldiers' safety is always the number one priority, but I'd be more than happy to tell anyone who asks/emails/texts me!!
So as I head to bed (early for once) I will leave you with this picture of my favorite soldier:
Andrew emailed me this picture this afternoon of his day today. "Training today....I like this picture, cause I think it shows us doing what we should be doing, preparing the Afghan Army to take over security in the country."
Look at that face. I don't know anyone on this planet who loves their job as much as he does.
... And I get to see that face in real life in front of my very eyes in a matter of DAYS. I really really really can't wait!
Today I'm just happy. I got a solid 10 emails in with Andrew this morning after I woke up and before communication got shut off; we seem to be out of the path of Hurricane Irene; I met with and put a deposit down for my florist for our wedding (she is wonderful, and sees everything exactly the way I do- I couldn't be more thrilled about using her and would be more than happy to recommend her to any brides who are still looking); and, a year ago today was the happiest moment of my life (to that point).
It's amazing how much can change in a year. I was Andrew's girlfriend, I had just been through the longest summer of my life (or so I thought) hanging on every letter, dashing to the mailbox as soon as I got home from work (twice on days that I stopped home for lunch), and never knowing exactly what was going on in Andrew's world. On this date, 365 days ago, I had the honor to pin that Ranger Tab on my soldier's shoulder. I don't know that I've ever had a prouder moment. He had worked so hard for that tab, and every lonely night and re-read letter was completely, totally, 150 million percent worth it to see that smile on his face when I told him "you did it babe, no matter what, nobody can ever take this away from you, Congratulations, Ranger!"
And now, here we are. A full year later. I am no longer Andrew's girlfriend... I'm his fiancee and planning our wedding while he is deployed. It's days like today that make me so happy... remembering the joy we felt last year, not only at the graduation ceremony, but also two days before when I surprised him on his 8 hour pass. Literally the moment I saw him I screamed and nothing else mattered. That goofy grin on his face, shaking his head as we pushed through the sea of dirty camo and reunions all around us trying to get to one another; that moment made every tear and every worry I had had that summer disappear. Being apart didn't matter- we were together for that moment.
When people say to me "I don't know how you do it" or "well, I could never do that", I actually feel sorry for them. They don't feel the love I feel, they don't get to prove to their significant other every day how much they care. The military tests relationships, the strong survive and the weak falter, and we are lucky enough to not only have survived the tests the military as thrown our way, but we have grown from them.
I love our life, and I wouldn't trade it for anything. I love that my future-husband stands up and fights for what he believes in, and will do anything possible to attain his goals, even when the road is not easy. The separations and voids I feel from him being gone are filled by the happy faces and giggles of six beautiful little children that will tell you all the pride they can possibly muster: "my uncle is a RANGER! He's fighting in Afghanistan so that we can be safe!"
Well this post got long and mushy in a hurry. Definitely not my intention, but you get what you get, I guess. I suppose all I'm really trying to say is that I can't believe a year has gone by, and I am so excited for this time next year when I will officially be Mrs. Ranger.
This week, for the first time, we had our very first realistic conversation about Andrew's Midtour leave. Scratch that. Not one conversation. Conversations, multiple conversations. (that was for you, honey) It pretty much occupies my every thought at this point. The good news is it got moved up a few weeks, and I feel like it kind of snuck up on me. Then I re-think it and I realize that this has been long time coming.
I'll preach the whole OPSEC thing again and tell you that I can't say when he'll be home, but it wouldn't matter anyways because whatever date the Army tells us is the only date within probably a three week span that has exactly ZERO probability of Andrew actually coming home on. This time that's actually a good thing though, I'm hoping for it to get pushed back as far as possible so that we have less left on the back end.
I get so excited when I think about Andrew actually being home. It's actually a nice treat that we get to be so excited about the little things. What other couples get this anxious and excited about a simple dinner date or watching a baseball game together. Honestly, all I want to do is ride around in the truck flying down back roads with the country on as loud as it can go just singing the wrong words and laughing together. That's what I miss, spending time with my best friend. I keep telling myself it's right around the corner, but that just makes it seem like soooo far away.
On another note, does anybody know how to video record a skype of oovoo call? We have a little project we are working on for a friend but we need to record skype to make it happen. Any advice would be much appreciated!
Well what do you know, I'm still slacking on my blogging. No excuse except a good clean fun all-American summer. Last week we were at Stone Harbor, New Jersey (although I only went for the last few days because I had to work) with the whole extended Dolan family. Unfortunately we forgot cardboard Andrew here... It would have been way more fun to have the real guy with us though. Instead we decided to pay tribute to our favorite soldier by dubbing our set up at the beach FOB Dolan:
Pretty sweet, right?!? Plus we thought that with eleven children under the age of 10, this would be a great way for any of our little wanderers to find their way back to the family! Plus it made me beam with pride every SINGLE time that flag caught my eye!
When we returned home life returned to normal. I was thankful to have the family home (being home alone is DEFINITELY not as much fun as Macully Culkin (spelling is totally off, but you get the idea) makes it out to be) and also so excited to flip the page on yet another month of this horrid 2011. August is finally here and I couldn't be happier!!
Today is probably my favorite day since Andrew has left. Not only does it mark the 200th day of deployment, but August 4th will forever be a special day for us. On this day 366 days from now (2012 is a leap year, the irony is not lost on me. Remind me to thank the universe for that extra little reminder that I'm not in control of anything in my life) Andrew and I will be married. I am absolutely overjoyed that I finally am within a year of our wedding date and that now the real countdown can begin. Some people might not think a pre-versary is worthy of celebration, but ummmm hello?!? I'll take any excuse to celebrate the days going by at this point, plus it's SUPER EXCITING!!!!
To celebrate, a few of us went to look for wedding gowns today! It was so fun and something about wedding dress shopping can turn any day around! I am one lucky girl. I feel so blessed to have so many wonderful things to look forward to in the next year and so many more in the future. I have a man who loves me very much and even though I don't get to see him as often as I would like, I know that he is living his dream, and I am so proud of him for that.
I can't wait to marry my best friend, my true love and my hero one year from today! Nothing (except possibly his safe return home to me this winter) could make me happier.
